Lots of 'nice' guys imagine that their failures have to do with being nice.
Nice-ness seldom is the issue, except for screwed up women who will simply walk all over a nice guy cause she can.
What you are missing, nice guys, is that what women are looking for in a man are those traits that their hindbrain tells them will translate into success and security.
This is an evolved response to a tribal past.
The reason even the ugliest guy in the band gets laid is because he is on stage. He is the object of attention of a large group of people.
Women's hind-brains tell them that men who attract attention are potential leaders...
Less evolved women look at mavericks and bad boys and physically aggresive men and their hindbrain tells them that physcially powerful men are potential leaders; something that was true back when male success was largely tied to male ruthlessness.
But that is no longer as true today... but these women can not help how evolution has programed their sense of attraction.
The reason men who screw lots of women get attention from women is a little more revealing... partly, its the consensus... women are, unconsciously or consciously, in competition for high quality males...
Well... how does a women identify a high quality male? ITs not based on their looks, but on their potential to offer security...
a male who gets a lot of women SEEMS like he MUST be a sought after commodity.... his very success at getting women might be indicative of potential success across the board.
And that , right there, is the rub.... women are not really attracted to you as you are... generally.... rather, they are using their brains to try and evaluate your POTENTIAL for providing the security they crave.
Women have long sought older men simply because older men are less of a guessing game... their potential has been proven.
The idea that men get more attractive as they age is only partly true... Not ALL men do... just those who prove they can provide.
But how does a woman evaluate the potential of a young, unproven male?
This is why young men drive nice cars, take women to expensive restaurants, buy them things... they are trying to display the ability ( or willingness) to provide security.
Some women fall for those things... most just factor them into a gestalt.
The number one characteristic that attracts women is SELF CONFIDENCE.
The reason assholes get girls is not their assholishness... its the swagger and self possesion that assholes often exhibit.
The reason womanizers get lots of girls is because of their own confidence that they CAN get girls... that self assurance is the thing that women respond to.
The reason bad boys and mavericks get girls is because the next tribal chief, or CEO, is unlikely to be the wall flower... its likely to be the guy with the self assurance to buck the trend and make his own way.
I used to be a 'nice guy" with limited success with women...
Then, as I got older, I began to have a lot of success in a field that is very hard to have success in.
Even I began to notice that I carried myself differently... its called the "buzz" of success.
And suddenly, women found me far more attractive without my even trying.
It was not so much the income, as these women had no idea of my income... it was that I felt self confident, assured and capable, within myself.
I literally stopped caring whether women responded to me or not... which eliminated that sense of nervousness that women sense as insecurity.
So--- my advice to "nice guys" donlt stop being nice.... rather, look at your own sense of self assurance and confidence.
Strive for success at your job.. or, do SOMETHING in which, in a social setting, you can feel confident of your ability...
For example.... learning to dance really really well...
When you can look a woman right in the eye and ask her to dance... knowing in your heart that you are GOING to show her a good time on that floor....
that is what she will respond to... not the dancing, as much as that sense of confidence...
And if you WANT her.... show her a sense of self confidence in that arena, too... and I don't mean groping clumsy or crude innuendos...
I mean look at her so she knows you think she is beautiful, desirable and delightful... I mean be direct with her about your attraction to her....
Have confidence in your own emotional response to her....
And yes... being forward... being out there, being willing to hang your heart on a nail right in front of everyone... you WILL get hurt.
So what?
When My son got dumped by his first real girlfriend and called me, devastated.. I had to tell him how happy I was to discover that he had grown into a man whose heart COULD be broken. And I told him that the secret to finding and keeping a good woman was to continue to be willing to risk his heart...
...to be willing, every time, to take the risk of being utterly shattered.
You want a woman?
Show her you're willing to throw all in... | 
