Hurt my boyfriend

Yikes, we were going at it missionary style (well his legs were on my shoulders) and he had a hot orgasm and started saying "Ow!" etc., I thought it was hot and pressed harder into him. Bad idea! He was frightened and it totally killed the mood. I've been kicking myself over it since.

My excited reaction to his "ow"s reminded me of an ex-girlfriend with whom I learned to do that, but she was a self-abusive mess and liked being hurt a little, and that is another story.

Right now we get into some very fun dom/sub stuff, and switch it around. We are no strangers to pain in you know, consensual exciting ways. It just brought me down to realize that I had acted on some weird impulse, and rubbed him quite the wrong way.

We tried that again the next day and he seems to be all right, but I am still shaken.

Any advice?

Be gentle.

A safe word seems the obvious one if you are playing with that - something he can say other than 'Ow' or 'no' that tells you plain and simple that it is a bad pain not a good one.

I agree... and I'm not even into S & M.

Hmmm my advice would be to talk about it if its bothering you, dont supress stuff and a safe word is also a good idea if your getting into "harder" stuff.

When someone yells OUCH. I think my first reaction would to stop, not fuck him even harder...

Talk to him about it. I know sometimes the mood can just take over..

There's been some decent advice thus far, but the above quote covers the critical points but still boils it down the best.

Ya, I know guys aren't supposed to be emotional. But you really need to talk to him about it. Let him know how it is really bothering you, perhaps even more than him. Communication is the most important aspect of a successful relationship. Express your feelings to him and set up a safe word as was advised by others.

in plain words, I think it is a matter of some holes being deeper than other holes. and I have found that at different times and levels of sexual excitement that depth, and tolerance for pounding, changes. forgeting about all other types of play, when someone says "Oww" when I am fucking them, I know I am in too deep. if it made him skitish tell him it was not your intention to hurt him, and promise to try and not do it again. I really don't know what more can be done or said.