Are You Socially Retarded?

Why is it that some people just have such an easy time slipping in and out of social situations and conversations while many others suffer from a kind of retardation? Shy, uncomfortable, foot in mouth, say all the wrong things at parties, hard to keep partners, brutish, a bore?

Are social graces not taught anymore, anywhere? Seems like a key element for happiness, if you aren't a hermit by choice.

I find women in general to be much better socially than men. Why is that? Even on this board it seems.

Do people eventually grow out of social retardation? How do you shed that affliction.

Anyways just interested to hear some of your thoughts on this.

Traditionally women are better communicators. Some people never seem to grow out of social retardation, maybe it's like speech, you have to acquire it before a certain age. I think kids aren't learning as many social skills as they used to, it's not safe to let them out to play anymore, some spend more time in front of the tv or computer than with people, and parents don't teach them to accept responsibility, to consider other people or to have realistic expectations.

I'm a man, and I never related to men's communication disability. I've never been scared to admit what I'm feeling, despite being male. I can talk about my emotions so much you'd think I was a woman until you saw me and what was down below.

Eh. I think there are a ton of things that factor into someone's sociability. Part of it might be how their brain is/works. Part of it might be related to insecurities. Some of it may be hereditary. Who knows. It could be a combination of things too.

I'm borderline - ask anyone from the 'LPSG meet' in DC last month.

No. Quite a few individuals, both men and women can be born with a form of high functioning autism. One form, Asperger's Syndrome, is characterized by a marked deficiency in social and communication skills(understanding social rules and non-verbal forms of communication), making it very difficult to interact with the neuro-typical population. With good behavioural therapy, a lot of progress can help to overcome the social issues.

I don't think that's what Earl meant, I think he meant just not very good socially.

Interesting. Bigbull29, I wonder if you can really tell if a person is a man or women by what he or she says here. I realize there are quite a few men posing as women here but honestly I can't tell the difference. Usually age, education level and maturity are quite apparent but sex, that's different.

SP, I think video games and TV have killed social skill learning for most kids these days. I went to a party this weekend for a friend's kid and was just appalled how rude and socially retarded teenagers are these days.

i'll admit, i'm a bit awkward while talking to someone until i know them a little better. lol..most of the friends who i've met in the last couple of years think i'm an asshole or stuck-up until that moment when my awkward shell breaks and then we become fast friends. i guess i'm shy at the beginning.

and with social situations, i usually don't say something stupid unless i'm talkng to someone who i have a crush on. in that case, i talk fast, stutter, and then have awkward silences where i have nothing to say.

and i'll admit it. women are way better with conversations. every girl i know can talk and talk for hours on end.

i wouldn't call myself introverted, but i do like to relax by myself for a little while. socially and with conversation, i'd give myself a B-.

See even on this thread you're all mostly women. Why is that?

no. mostly men, actually.

Because women communicate and share thoughts and feelings. Men don't talk unless there is a problem to solve. (Men are from Mars, Woman are from Venus, anyone???)

I think women are just more accepting of peeps. If you're a guy talking with another guy you don't know, you might feel he's sizing you up competition-wise so he can either end up ignoring you or figuring out how he's better than you. That's one reason I feel lucky to have the friends I do. They don't judge me.

That's what we are led to believe anyhow.

I don't buy that argument it's too pat. There are plenty of touchy feely type of guys here. I suffer from a kind of social retardation but it's not because I don't like to share my thoughts and feelings, it has more to do with insecurity and not catching the tone of conversations readily.