Is a fantasy something you want? Or just a fantasy?

my wife mentioned a fantasy of having a threesome. Her and I with a another girl. And last night she mentioned her with me and another guy. I asked her how she would feel watching me have sex with another girl? The first time we talked about it she said she wouldn't want me to fuck the other girl. She is bi. By the way. So last night she brought up the whole addition of another guy. I told her to be honest it would be uncomfortble for me. I told her you would be uncomfortable watching me with another girl? She then changes her initial comment saying she thinks it wouldn't bother her? I know these are just fantasy's. I guess because im not on the same page she felt like i was judging her. Personally a 3some isn't for me. I do get jeolous and I am often insecure about stupid shit. I feel like I'm judging myself and that I'm a dissappointment because I'm not as open maybe as her. I guess it makes me feel like she is bored or something. Our sex life is great we love each other unconditianally. I just dont want to be a pride. 3some for me would be with people I dont love. It's just not for me I guess. And besides its only a fantasy or is it?? Maybe that's what I'm most afraid of.

Wow, i`d probly be scratching my head too. Maybe this will help you, i think when our fantasies are not fullfilled that we can feel let down or disappointed. Also, we can feel that things arn`t going the way we`d like them to go and unfortunatly we can take it out on others in a non-productive way which harms the relationship.
The good thing i think in all this is that atleast she feels comfortable enough and is mature enough to express what she might want to try.

lafever

Technically "fantasy" is something that exists beyond the realm of reality or even potential reality. That's why Star Wars, for instance, is definitely fantasy and NOT science fiction. The way that people use the term to describe their sexual desires, though, isn't usually the same. So it depends on the person.

Some people may say they have a fantasy about having a threesome, and they may very well want to have a threesome and may very well have one at some point in their lives. Other people might have a fantasy about being raped, which is pretty common, but they would never actually want this to happen in the real world, even though it realistically could.

The most accurate use of the term would be to describe something that could never realistically happen. Such as having a fantasy about having sex as a member of the opposite gender, or having sex with Cleopatra or some other long dead historical figure.