Is bathing with ya kids abnormal?

digitalhunk007 · 12-09-2007

I bathed and showered with my father up until the age of 6. Then after that time, it became very uncomfortable for me. Although I'm not a total prude when it comes to nudity, I do have a problem seeing my parents and sister naked (and vice versa) in any situation and I avoid it as much as possible.

But when it comes to non-family members, it doesn't bother me at all. The majority of my friends (both male and female) have seen me in my birthday suit in a given time and place and it doesn't bother me one bit like the way it would if my family saw me naked.

njqt466 · 12-09-2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigboy_steve

thanks every1 for ur replies and responces. me and my wife are bathing less and less with our daughter. more on my side because im startin to feel uncomfortable being around her as she is gettin older.<---- This is your key statement. Id never force nudity on to my kids. if one day they dont want to be seen nude in front of me and the missus thats perfectly fine and id respect that. Again cheers :)

If you are uncomfortable then you need to stop doing this. Doubt means don't.

jason_els · 12-09-2007

It's only an issue if you make it one. It really is that simple.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SirConcis

The sauna situation is simple nudity. It is a social gathering

Giving a bath to a child involves very close proximity and parent taking care of the child's body. So it is a very different type of event.

Consider the difference between father and son being at pool and both taking showers naked. No problem there at any age. And each takes care of his own body.

But in a bath, the parent touches the kid's body. And there comes a time when the kid's sexuality starts to awaken, at which point, you want the bathing to become as "hospital/asexual" as possible so you don't want to be naked in bath with child anymore.

Consider a father/son relationship. About the time the son starts to bathe himself, it is probably a good idea for the father to show him how the foreskin retracts on a adult penis (especially if son can't yet retrtact his skin). Or explain why the dad is circumcised and son isn't. (sonce the son would have noticed the difference).
br> But such talks probably signal the time where it is no longer appropriate for parents to be naked while giving son/daughter a bath and start to give the child more and more privacy/autonomy in bath.

Xander111 · 12-09-2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by njqt466

Doubt means don't.

Nooooo... Doubt means take a step back, look at the big picture, get opinions from people who matter (e.g. not the internet) and go with your gut feeling.

kurios · 12-09-2007

I would say probably ease up with your daughter about now but when your son comes stick with the practice at least through puberty so his transition to high school showers and body changes is natural.
A good time to make the shift would be when your son arrives and your wife could then take on your daughter.

MrMXYZPTLK · 12-09-2007

Hell No, a new born 3 day old baby should bathe themselves ! ! ! Just kidding.

But the fact is Parents Need to bathe thier Children, and show them how to bath. So that they bathe Correctly and have good hygienne. From the little I remember of being that young, I did bathe with my dad, and he never touched my Genitals, but he showed me how cleaned his, and told me that's what I need to do to be CLEAN and all MEN do that.

It should be obvious that you don't touch your childrens Genitals at all, but you do need to show them how to keep themselves clean. The Monkey see Monkey do method seems to work pretty well, with kids.

But I agree there should be a CUT OFF AGE, of I think kids should start bathing by themselves when they start school.

The Daughters should only bathe with mothers and Father's only bathe with sons, I SORTA sgree with, but what about single parents?

Rodeo1177 · 12-09-2007

The controversy with this subject is certainly normal; after all, males are often seen as being or having sexual deviant intents merely and only because of their gender. Whereas we think little, if anything, about females who engage in the exact same conduct as males do with children simply and only because the adult is a female.

The fact is, all children are at risk of being molested by an adult, whether the adult is a man or women. And the child need not even be aware of what is going on for this to occur; as it can occur by the mere act of washing any part of the Childs' body.

However, nudity, in and of itself, has nothing to do with sexual conduct, in and of itself. Two people can be nude in the presence of each other and still not be sexually aroused or have sexual deviant intents, thoughts or engage in sexual acts of any kind. However, the line is crossed when those, whose [intent] it is to use the [opportunity] of nudity, use this opportunity as the [mechanism] to [carry out] a sexual act, whether or not the adult male or female are, themselves nude.

Sexual predator conduct, whether it involves an adult or child, a male or a female is an act of violence, in and of itself, and encompasses the perceived need or physiological desire to control others by such violent acts, to-wit, thrives most when there is a [perceived] low or no risk of being caught.

As such, child molestation is not based on the requirement that the Father or the Mother must themselves also be nude while their son or daughter is bathing.

So, if we are going to say men should not bathe with their daughters, on the mere speculation that this automatically translates into putting the child at risk of being molested. Then we must also say that the Father should not be in the bathroom to supervise his daughter taking a bath on her own, because the same opportunity and dangers exist in this environment as well. But if we are going to say that Father's should not be permitted to do this, then we must also say the same about Mothers, since child molestation is not restricted only to occurring by the hand of adult males.

In regard to Steve's original post, Steve was clear to say that while both he and his Brother were raised in a nudist environment involving their Father, all of a sudden his Mother and Brother are now saying this is wrong. As a result, Steve is not only questioning the environment of his own family but also that of the environment he grew up in, as a child himself, and that is a heavy load to have to deal with all at once. So, his doubt and confusion are perfectly normal, natural and predictable. Moreover, his doubt and confusion are also healthy, as it gives evidence that he lacks the intent to harm his child, and even Steve himself wrote that he does not want to bathe with his daughter for any extended length of time.

erratic · 12-09-2007

Dude, there are few kinder things you can do in life than show someone how to be comfortable in their own skin. Good on you.

I agree that if you or your daughter shows signs of discomfort it's time to cut it off, but I also agree you need to substitute it with something else.

As for your son? He's an infant, man. It would be abnormal if he bathed alone.

njqt466 · 12-09-2007

[quote=kurios;1144877]I would say probably ease up with your daughter about now but when your son comes stick with the practice at least through puberty so his transition to high school showers and body changes is natural.

Through puberty?!?!?

Are you fucking nuts!?!?!

That's a set up for years of therapy. Unless handicapped a child of either sex is capable and should be bathing themselves by the age of 4 or 5.
A good time to make the shift would be when your son arrives and your wife could then take on your daughter.

jumbo747jet · 12-09-2007

I want to begin by saying that I think it's very sad when some people assume there is something sexual about a parent taking a bath with his or her child.

As to if you should be taking baths with your future son, that will be entirely up to you to decide.

If you want your son to grow up feeling at ease with his own naked body, that is the example you need to set, as a child will do what he or she sees you do, not what you tell them to do.
If you make it out to be a big deal to be naked, your child will feel it is a big deal.

Best wishes to you and your wife on the expected birth.

iamgay222 · 12-09-2007

Steve, there is nothing wrong with you bathing with your son. When I was younger i would bathe with my dad, but never with my mom. Maybe you should let your wife take over bathing your daughter.

If you don't bathe with your son or if your wife doesn't bathe with your daughter then they will think that it is wrong to be naked in front of there kids when their all grown. Of course, there is a cut off point. You and your child will feel the discomfort. Possibly age 7. If you want to tell them about puberty take them aside and tell them. My dad told me about puberty on a camping trip in the woods. He showed me what i would look like when i was his age and told me about pubic hairy and masturbation. That is perfectly normal and I love my dad for that. After that we had the best relationship, although we had a good one before this. When I was 15 he told me about sex and about condoms and such. He showed me how to put one on. And your wife should do the same with your daughter.

Do what you think.

Richard

snoozan · 12-09-2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by SpoiledPrincess

I think it's fine to bathe with your childen up to the age where they give out signals they're no longer comfortable you seeing them naked (and they make it very clear when they consider they're too old to be naked) or you're sick of them taking up all the room in the bath. The human body isn't something to be ashamed of and letting your kids see you naked day to day in non sexual situations teaches them what is appropriate (eg it's fine for mum and dad to see them naked, it's not for most other people) and if you screech like a girl if your kid catches you naked it sends out the message that bodies are dirty. I bathed with my kids until they were about seven or so, it was easier, one lot of bath water and I didn't end up with soaked clothes from washing and drying duties. They stopped bathing with their dad (although it was infrequently that they had, he found it a pain) when they were about four but not for any reasons that it was 'indecent' or wrong, just because he enjoyed his bath more when he had it to himself. I loved bathing with my kids, we'd soap one anothers hair and do sonic type hairstyles, play wih bath toys and have a general good time.

Wonderful response, SP. I agree completely.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SirConcis

Giving a bath to a child involves very close proximity and parent taking care of the child's body. So it is a very different type of event.

Most children aren't toilet trained until about 3 years old, and many still need help with wiping and proper toilet hygeine beyond that. That is, GASP, taking care of a child's GENITALS.

Seriously, though, think about it. You've got to wipe your kids' asses until well into the third year, so what's the difference between that and taking a bath with them? Nudity is NOT sexuality AT ALL. It's not the same.

A lot of times I think those of you without kids really don't and won't know the proper boundaries until/unless you have children. It's a very different thing in reality than it is in theory. I don't know how someone can look at a 4 or 5 year old child and think about sex, which is really what all this is about.

There are no hard and fast rules. Parenting is about learning as you go along, even if you have other children. Go with you instincts and what you're comfortable with.

Quote:

But in a bath, the parent touches the kid's body. And there comes a time when the kid's sexuality starts to awaken, at which point, you want the bathing to become as "hospital/asexual" as possible so you don't want to be naked in bath with child anymore.

Are you saying parents should stop kissing and hugging their children because in other contexts it's considered sexual? That uses the same reasoning as your argument about the bath.

kurios · 12-09-2007

njqt466 thefact that you sound like a real asshole makes it difficult to clarify anything but I dont mean the father should be scrubbing the son through high school but to shower, one walk in one walk out, or shave while your son is in the shower and then drying off isnt going to warp him for life. Who knows it might have helped you

salinger · 12-10-2007

I think some of the responses are a bit prudish. I didn't have a dad, but there were several different times where I was with my friend (swimming or at the gym) growing up when we ended up showering with his dad. If it works there, why would home be different? I think the equating sex with nudity is the problem for some people here.

BedheadRed · 12-10-2007

American culture itself equates and perception is reality.