Yeah dude, we've all got shortcomings, and for a while I behaved in a similar fashion regarding mine. Then I sort of grew up and realized how competitive life is. Now I stick to the stuff I can be successful at, while constantly trying to improve on the skills I'm lacking.
I feel like you're probably never going to have a "Big" dick, but that just means you stick to a girl who really likes your dick the way it is. For me, I am engaged to a girl who accepts all of me, even the really fucked-up parts, and that gives me the confidence to work on the parts that need work, rather than just giving up and expecting people to accommodate me.
The humiliation stuff sounds like it might be working ok right now, but I feel you're probably going to want more traditional sex in the future, because it's just easier!
By the way, when I mentioned "Improving on deficiencies" You might have thought "I can't improve on my dick buddy," but you can! There are exercises that can help you get rock-hard erections, and help you fuck long and hard. The exercise is called the "Kegel" and the muscle is called the "pubbocoxygennus" or PC muscle.
Keep it positive babydickk! | 
Sure, the big are lucky, wish I was mammoth (10X7, or something like that) but that's just a fantasy. I live with reality. 
