Bisexuality and you...well me..but you too

Just a little problem I've been coming across for a while now.

Recently I've started to let everyone know that i'm bi because basically I don't care anymore. People can't seem to grasp how I feel in general and it kind of bugs me. Like, people will say "Well being bi is just a road stop to gay town" or "Do you prefer men or women more? Honestly, for me it's not about the sex. It's basically my capacity to love a man or a woman equally. I don't care if they have a penis or a vag, if I'm attracted to them i'll go for it without question. It just kind of bugs me how some people who i'm close to will actually say this to me and they can't really grasp the concept. I've also said that it lowers my chances of not having a date on friday night? (so far that idea has failed me miserably:P)

How about anyone else? Anyone else feel this way or am I just one whacked out kind of guy? Thoughts/comments appreciated!

ps..if if the typing on this is horrible I apologize. I tore a ligament in my wrist today so I'm trying to type with one hand:P

Tore a ligament in your wrist, a likely story :)

I can understand you wanting to be honest but really is your sexuality anyone's business, I don't advocate hiding it but I don't see the need for everyone I know to know what my sexuality is.

Dude welcome to my world. I'm bisexual and I've not totally come out but I know how you feel. People in school who knew I was bi looked on me like an oddity. I feel better about my self now, but I think if you're bi you have to understand that in a society that is very black and white people don't understand the grayier areas like bisexuality we as bisexuals have the gift of liking both sexes and can love them for many different reasons. Don't feel bad about yourself be PROUD. to be who you are and don't let people who don't understand the duality of your sexuality and the different reasons we fall in love with who we chose stop you from living your life.

Yeah, you'll hear that gaytown saying time and again. Ignore it. Bisexuality is likely more common that pure heterosexuality or homosexuality. I've stopped trying to get people to understand and I use the terms gay and bi interchangeably. The key is to not try to fit a label but to just be yourself. Over time your friends and family will come to understand just what's going on and what bisexuality is for you.

here is my experience with bisexuals:

they want the freedom to have sex with a man but the security (and social acceptance) of settling down with a woman. before you get all bent out of shape, answer this question--when was the last time you heard of a "bisexual" man sneaking out on his boyfriend to have sex with a woman? never.

my work here is done.

blm

If they were sneaking you wouldn't know anyway, so that point is null/void :)

EDIT: and that's not really the point i'm trying to make here.. Cheating is cheating no matter who does it...I don't care if you're bi/gay/straight. If you're stepping out on the one you love it's in the wrong anyway

It's seems that the dilemma of a bisexual man is that homosexuals and heterosexuals treat you as the proverbial black sheep on both sides. I say if you like both, enjoy both. What's wrong with someone who wants the security of being with a woman? If that's what he wants, let him have it. Why not?

"It's not fair, he should be with me?" Too bad. He's bisexual. Get over it. He wants both. Whatever choice he makes will be the choice he makes and it will be because that's what makes him most comfortable. If he can sneak out on a woman to be with a man, he can sneak out on a man to be with a woman. It works both ways. But why does the bisexual also have to be promiscuous? And does the fact that a bisexual man is in a relationship with a man negate the fact that he still has feelings (emotional/sexual/etc.) for women? No, otherwise he wouldn't be bisexual.

I think a problem could be that many gay people may identify as bisexual in order to attempt some more acceptance in society. And thus when a true bisexual appears, people are like "Yeah, right...you're just gay."

Sounds like a perplexing situation to me. =\

Spitfire, I feel you. It's partly politics. Bi muddies the waters.

U be U.

To make it even more complicated, try the theory that everyone is bisexual. That's what I believe. (What I mean is, I think everyone is bisexual on a subconscious level, but not everyone acts it out.)

This is an interesting topic to me considering I just started going out with a gay guy, and at first he didn't understand the concept of being a bisexual, but I explained it verbatim how you explained it in your first post and he gets it. The other more common stereotype I hear about being bisexual is that we can't be trusted, and we'll fuck anything with a pulse. People think we choose to be bisexual just to enhance our chances of getting sex, I haven't met any bisexual person who looks at it that way.

I'd say about half of straight guys never think of it at all. The other half know another guy they'd do if they weren't straight and/or if it wasn't a fantasy/movie star type.

Wrong! Lol. I was just talking today to a bi friend who did exactly that thing! (He has a bf, but cheated with a girl)

But back to the main topic:

I know exactly how you feel, Spitfirewheels. It seems many folks cant understand sexual fluidity, and want an absolute categorisation of your sexuality. Both straights and gays can be equally guilty of this.

Yes, I know what you mean too, Spitfirewheels. Ignore labels. Live life.

Thanks so much for explaining your situation so well. I understand it because I'm similar to you. Maybe bisexuality isn't the best word to use to describe some of us because as you say it's not about the sex. It's about who you're attracted to and who you may love or fall in love with.