Dealing with co-workers

....It just seems that all he wants to do is complain about the job, the boss or gossip, which isnt my thing....


Remind him next time he has any complaints to issue: The best time to look for a job is while he's got one.

Gossip? Invoke your company's code of conduct/ethics.

Maybe you're ready for a new challenge and need to find a job that doesn't deal with the same personalities sitting in the closest proximities. Maybe what you need is a job that travels and involves identifying issues and have other managers delegate the actual resolution to that other co-worker, rather than solving them with actually doing the work yourself and being trapped in cubicle-ville ? Attempt to find something you enjoy better, the other guy probably is too, he may be tired of you just the same and seeking better also ? What are the complaints, gossip and so on ? That might get some insight on what is "grating" at the both of you ? Perhaps both of you are equally miserable and it's easier to project that your co-worker is the annoyance, as opposed to being a more commonly grounded and shared misery ?

Herrmann - I assure you my company has NO code of conduct or ethics

njqt466 - I could use headphones but then its so rude to everyone else. BUT i do the alternative which is have the stereo beside me (between he & I) at the loudest possible volume before it incites abuse from others. Problem is he is another nationality so regularly he will sing even louder in his own language.. VERY annoying btw.
transformer_99 - Im already working on the new job/career. Also im sure he is probably bored with me not talking to him as it is only the 2 of use, but it doesn't seem he has a problem with me. He actually wants to work even closer to me But YES, it is time to get out of there

I know this will sound harsh but you're both adults, right? Maybe you should tell him (politely but unambiugiously) while you appreciate that he may be unhappy with his working sitiuation you don't share his dissatisfaction (you may of course but that's not the point) and you would rather he kept his negativity to himself because it's interfering with your ability to get your job done.

What can do, complain about you? If he is at all professional then it should not interfere with your working relationship, if it does then he is clearly unprofessional and you may have grounds for complaint.

Having someone singing along to a walkman at work would drive me bonkers. Also, people who do that can almost never sing, why is that?

No need to be rude, merely honest. Personally it chafes my ass when people spend all day whining about their lot in life and can only bite my tongue for so long. Usually I can be polite as suggested above. However, on occasion I just have to speak my mind, unfiltered!!

Subterfuges such as headphones just dodge the inevitable, they may breach working policies (perhaps not for you) and can be, as you say quite rude in themselves. You could always see this (as you seem to have done) see this as an opportunity to leave.

Alternatively, you could poison his coffee.

Lets call that plan B. But i do like the way you think

Thanks. I have other skills too, apparently.

I'm with Dong on this one, you're an adult, you can tell him politely that he's getting on your nerves. If you let it go on and on what is likely to happen is that at some point you're going to lose your temper, call him a huge fucking knob and then you'll end up falling out and still having to work with him. Much better while you're still relatively calm about it to take him to one side and say 'look I know you're having problems with the boss and I don't mind you venting once in a while but you're doing it constantly and this is a problem for me'.

This is exactly the same situation I find myself in. A co-worker (who is also a friend) of 18 years has gradually descended into bitterness, gossip mongering and perennial complaint. Watching the attitude of a once happy, energetic man spiral ever downward has been hard to endure.

What I found is that unhappy people don't want advice. Instead, they want empathy, whether they recognize it or not. When I began practicing giving empathy to my ailing friend (and others) I found the quality of my communication improving dramatically and the amount of time I spent enduring griping, complaining and gossip lessened.

Note: Empathy is not pity, patronization, advice, interrogation or agreement. Its presence.

Of course, if empathising fails, there's always PLAN B ^^.

I totally get all this. I just quit my weekend job because people there started to get on my nerves a bit. Well i have to admit that the MAIN reason why i quit was because i couldn't handle pulling in 20 hours every weekend anymore. but the people that got on my nerves are also partially the reason too.
I worked in a place where you can't really be open about your sexuality unless you don't mind being bashed behind your back by most people at the place. So to avoid that sort of thing, i neither confirmed nor denied my sexual orientation. In the end, i find it had nothing to do with my work there. So some people got suspicious and started to give me a hassle about it and my only response was to question their sexuality since they are so concerned about another male's sexuality. I mean i wasn't bashed but it did make me not want to be at that place anymore. So i figured i'm not happy with the hours, the pay, and now the people and so, it's time to move on. And that i did.