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All You Ever Needed To Know About Pregnancy

Pregnancy questions and answers Q: Should I have a baby after 35? A: No, 35 children is enough. Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? A: With any luck, right after

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Old 10-31-2007   #1 (permalink)
jakeatolla is offline
All You Ever Needed To Know About Pregnancy

Pregnancy questions and answers

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A! : Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.
 
Old 11-01-2007   #2 (permalink)
Not_Punny is offline

OMG -- I laughed so hard I peed my pants... or was that the water breaking?!!!
 
Old 11-01-2007   #3 (permalink)
njqt466 is offline

Hysterical!
 
Old 11-01-2007   #4 (permalink)
deepwader is offline

Q: Is it true that if my baby comes out before 32 weeks, he may be retarded?

A: Fuck no, I'd call that advanced: most of us don't manage it till adolesecence at the earliest!
 
Old 11-01-2007   #5 (permalink)
MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK is online now

Q: My friends say that having a normal healthy sized baby is not a problem- are they right?
A: Clearly your friends have never tried to squeeze something the size of a watermelon out of the opening of a lemon.
 
Old 11-01-2007   #6 (permalink)
ScaredLittleBoy is offline

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