Why is it so hard for me to find a mate??

Okay, I am 19 and going on 20 years old. I have had only one girlfriend my entire life, but it was only for a week and we didn't do anything. Yes, I am a virgin. I am extremely depressed about being a virgin! I know some of you will say that I shouldn't worry, that my time will come, but really, will it? I am sick and tired of being a virgin! I do not want to be a 20 year old virgin, which is coming up in December!

I used to think that all I wanted was someone to hold...someone to love and cuddle with, which I do, BUT, when I thought about it harder, those things I can wait for later in life. Everyone can settle down in time and have a nice girl. What I want RIGHT NOW is someone who I am infatuated with and who I can have sex with. Don't get me wrong, a relationship would be nice too! But I seriously don't have any relationship experience, so I would settle with a sex-only girl, but not just a fuck buddy, someone who would teach me, help me, experiment with me...let me see the wild side! That's all I want...and THEN...then I will have the confidence to find a girl with whom I can have a seroious relationship with.

I guess the reason I don't have a girlfriend is because I am not outgoing. I do not initiate conversations with girls and I do not call them even if I get their numbers. I guess it's my own damn fault for being a virgin. I feel like I need some sort of direction for every step of the way. How long could this last?? Till I'm finally laying in bed next to a girl?

Currently, there is one girl who continues to pursue me through text messages. We were supposed to hang out a few times, but it never went through. She's bound to become UNinterested soon if I don't do something. She's doing all the work! How can I turn this girl into a mate? Is there anything I can say that will get her thinking sexually about me, and maybe be even more driven to get me?

If anyone has any experience with this sort of thing, please help me. Right now, this girl who texts me I am considering my primary option for losing my virginity right now, as she is the one who most pursues me, and that makes me feel an attraction towards her. I didn't like her at first because she is much more outgoing than I am, but she's definately do-able!

This is actually a very serious post, so help is appreciated!!

You need an older woman to show you the ropes.

Agreed! there's nothing like an older woman when it comes to sexual experience.

It's not your fault that you're a virgin. We all start out that way.
Since she's obviously interested in you, ask her to go to the movies, ice skating, dinner, or something where you can interact with each other and have fun that you both like to do.

You have to big time exploit the little confidence you do have to build more later. Can't start a fire without that spark.

So she's a little aggressive. That could be what's needed because an older woman would have to be a little aggressive to show you the ropes. So don't be put off by aggressiveness.

And even if she's not experienced, a lot of fun can still be had by experimenting.

Just remember, if you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you're getting.

you sound too passive. you only get out of something what you put into it. so far you have no input, 0 results

But does that actually happen in real life? I mean, do older woman really come on to young men? I just don't see that happening for me ever. How would one even go about letting an older woman know you are interested?

You just have more to learn. Getting laid can be one of the hardest things in the world. It's not like it happens all the time for most of us. Finding a longtime girlfriend can be even harder.

Go straight to the women's forum and ask that exact question. You will get answers from the ladies you seek. Very smart, very experienced, very wonderful ladies we have here.

Yes, tell her that you like her. Ask her to go to a movie or something, it doesn't matter. Most girls that age really want to be in a relationship because of peer pressure seeing other girls having boyfriends. The bottom line is if you can't directly tell a girl how you feel, then you deserve to be a virgin. Girls get turned on knowing that a boy likes them, so tell her how you feel. No guts, no glory!

I think they do, but I doubt they would want a virgin. I dunno.

If you ever figure out why it's so hard to find a mate, write a book explaining
it and you'll be rich. At least tell me, so I'll know what to do...

I don't have a clue, I've been pondering this same question for years...