Hi Sizemic,

Thanks for a great story!

Your story had lots of good build up and exciting scene setting then all of a sudden it was over. Sort of like a sloppy ending to a good date.

Maybe drawing out the sex scene a bit more with a few more details and hot and horny description to balance it with the set up would make it more appealing to those of us who like to cruise this site.

Just saying she had ten orgasms isn't as stimulating to the reader as describing two or three or four of her hot earth shaking cums and his panting responses ... then if you want to demonstrate volume you could say "and this went on for several more orgasms".

I guess I'm suggesting that shortcuts in the sex scene descriptions are not appreciated by those of us who want to read the details. You have a great writing style and a good imagination. Feel free to use it on the juicy bits!

I'm loving it so far. Keep going!

JJ