The term "Power Bottom"

Aptitude, talent, and desire? You make it sound like it's acting school. I have as much insight into the gay scene as 70%, 80%, or 99% of gay people have into the straight scene. I work in a field where I'm in contact with gay people--unlike many straight people--and I also educate myself on human behavior, gay and straight.

And don't feel sorry for my wife. We have a very active sex life, but I am the man and she is the woman, and she is penetrated by me. It's far from controlling. And if she chooses to be on top of me during sex, which she does, she is still the one being penetrated.

Many gay bottoms refer to themselves as submissive, and some call their anus their pussy or mangina.

This is a topic that I'll have to agree to disagee on.

And nobody addressed my point that tops have nothing to lose.

No we don't.

Tops can still get herpes or the clap...so I don't know what you call that?

Anyway, I've always believed a power bottom to be a person with either complete control over their hole, meaning they are able to please their top in ways beyond most average bottoms...or being someone who lacks feeling in their ass; making them able to take alot of stress, no matter what from.

True. A top is less likely to get an STD, but it is possible. I'm sure a lot of tops do fear getting something and that's why they are tops. And as far as disease goes, it's the same thing in straight sex. It's more difficult for a man(the penetrator) to get an STD because of his obvious physiological differences from a woman(the recipient). And if the guy has no feeling left in his ass, then we go back to square one, and the bottom is the one who has everything to lose, even feeling. Doesn't sound fun to me.

Does AndyA ring a bell with anybody else? These guys are identical twins, cloned from the same frot-crap website I won't bother linking.

Actually, Italian978, your assumptions about gay sex and gender stereotypes is way off base. But I generally take exception to straight men attempting to use their own heterosexual experience as a yardstick for judging the libidos and motivations of gay men.

You assume that there is something inevitably uneven in the power balance of gay sex when it's expressed through anal sex. This is simply untrue in my experience, and 30 years of having sex is a lot of experience. There is nothing inherently feminine or inferior (seperate concepts) in bottoming any more than there's anything inherently feminine or inferior about the person sucking a cock. And your equation of the feminine and the inferior are blatantly sexist.

The reason why is that any sex involving two men is masculine by default. As there is no woman present, it cannot be feminine.

There is also not the correlation you're implying between being butch and getting penetrated (or not). In real life with the real gay men I have sex with, we're not swish or fey, nor strutting around like lumberjacks. We're just two men who want to find pleasure in each other's bodies.

When pondering this reply, I was going to get into the dynamics of roleplay in a SM sub/dom scene, but why waste perfectly good A-List material on the likes of you?

What I will do is share a piece of wisdom imparted on me by an elder in the leather bar scene when I was in my early 20s:
It is the bottom, the submissive who holds all the power. He is the one who sets the limits, and he is the one who consents to the top. The top/dom only has as much authority as the bottom will give him.

Tops get STDs. Where do you think the bottoms got them from?

Someone buy this woman a strap-on!

Well I know two straights, a man and a woman and they are not having sex at all and they aren't even going to have babies, and I just wish they could have met your parents.

So there!

Italian978, you are the best advert for birth control I have come across in months.

I always considered myself as a power bottom...i can take whatever u can give...however u want to give it...there's nothing negative about taking it like a man from a man

I think it just means you like to take a hard pounding in the ass. None of that "ouch I can't take it all, bullshit".
I don't think it's a negative thing at all.

You always explain things so well. Smart and handsome...the double whammy. Cheers

Bbucko, I wouldn't place too much credence on what an elder said to you in the leather bar scene over 20 years ago. Gays were so far in the closet back then and stereotyped far worse than they are today. You're a top so of course you're going to be all for bottoms.

A man I work with and his longtime partner don't do anal, and they take offense at people, gay or straight, who assume that they have roles (male/female, dominant/submissive, top/bottom, etc.) And he tells me there are plenty of other gay men out there who are just like them, but unfortunately society assigns them roles without even knowing them, and gays assign roles to themselves when they use those terms on personal ads and even on this website.

And it's not like we talk about our sexuality at work, but one day a woman, believe it or not, made a rude comment about men having anal, and that's when he mentioned that's not what gays were all about and that's not what he was all about either.


And since you mentioned frot, he did tell me about a website. I'd never even heard of that word before, but when I checked out that site I understood more about gay sexuality than ever before; the non stereotypical gay sexuality that we seldom hear about. This man has told many of us at work, both gay and straight, about the site, and it's all about living a life that's virtually 100% disease free and all about equality among gay males. We were all very impressed.

FROTTAGE What's Hot About Frot


This couple have avoided the gay lifestyle from the start, and have been together since they were in their late teens. They didn't get into the club scene or open relationships, and they didn't look at older gays as their role models. They chose to live their lives as gay males with no titles and none of the baggage that goes with it. In fact, he's going to start a website that's for gay men who don't want labels, and just want to live as regular people who just happen to be gay.

Bbucko, I've looked at some of your postings and you're cruising for anonymous sex partners. Not all gay men live your lifestyle. Most are monogamous and want love and something long lasting in their lives. You have every right to live your life as you see fit, but you also contracted HIV, so I'm not sure why you would condemn something as harmless as frot.

As far as you taking exception to straights using their experience to understand gays, it's no different than gays trying to understand straight behavior. I've seen plenty of posts on here by gays claiming how straight guys are just one step away from going gay, and love sex with men, yet I don't see too many posts, maybe none, about gays being one step away from going straight. It seems a little one sided if you ask me.

And none of my remarks are the least bit sexist, but if that's how you interpret them, whatever.

I'm not sure why you're all so bitter. If you can't agree to disagree then why bother to post in forums.

You know better than that. Tops can get STD's but are at less risk and also will never suffer from any anal problems.

Thanks, Cubie. Post a pic and I'll return the compliment.

I also find it rather...peculiar...that you have so many opinions about gay sex and are presumptious enough to post them. If you are truly "99% straight" I am a little puzzled as to why you seem to be so fascinated by gay sex, and these "anal problems," whatever that means.

Anyway, your conversation with some co-worker who doesn't have anal sex, and your review of a frot website, hardly qualifies you as an expert in gay sex. I am a gay man. I have sex with men. I have had sex with men for 20 years. Some of it has been anal sex; a lot of it has been other types of sex. Whatever. I think I know a little more about gay sex than you do. Your condescending dismissal of bottoms is really offensive.

I'm sure you would take offense also if I started making generalizations about straight sex. Just as I know very little or nothing about straight sex you don't really know anything about gay sex. So please spare us your "authoritative" pronouncements based on reading a couple of web sites, talking to some gay guy you happen to know, and obsessing about "ass problems." If you were a gay man, you might have something to add to this conversation. As a straight man, supposedly, and a not very well informed one at that you are just, well...talking out of your ass.