| soy milk makes me fart!!!
I'm talking long, loud, flappy farts. Farts that reverb on the surrounding cheeks, causing an occilating pattern of butt tooting thats the envy of fratboys. Big air pockects forming in you intestines..... I'm talking balloons of air-turds tumbling around, looking for an escape. I'm talking cascading barrages of butt burst!!!
I mean these meaty, turdsy farts... real air hangers. thick, pungent clouds of fetid air, only surpassed by the liquidy turds that often follow. You turn on your side, and spread your cheek as if to help quiet down the racket, only to realize that you, in effect, removed the silencer, since its your balloon knot that serves as your anal Pavorati. the fetid opera that follows leaves you in a mixture of disgust and awe. for certain your underwear is forever changed.
Its near inspiring... just how successive they are.. just this build up of turd ghosts that seemingly appear to haunt your room long after they were unceremonisously fart bursted from your ass. No sooner is one sen tumbling into your surroundings than is another one ready to go. Even the animals in the house go running!
You may recoil, but no without taking a wiff of curiosity ... just to see what you are made out of.. With near pride you coax a few turd molecules with your hand toward your nose. What follows is nearly as complex as any wine judging as you mentally rate stench, texture, acidity (did it burn yoru ass?), hangtime as well as rotten-egg factor...also known as the sulfur standard.
...oh.. I just let another barrage go... with some satisfaction I might add. Nothing large, but definitly a balloon knot twicher, butt cheek resonator. >sniff sniff< Ah yes...the bouquet of rotten soy milk, digested protein amino acids for texture, almost a chestnutty finish... >sniff<... ah... the stench of being alive!!! | 
