Hookup Horror Stories

Im sure everyone has had a hookup that just turned out horrible.....

I'll start...

I recently was on a personals site and someone hit me up, he looked pretty darn cute.

He comes to pick me up to go to his place and soon as I get in the car...I knew I was in for some trouble. He looked completey diffrent from the pic, it was him...but crack are some drug took effect on him...his face was sunken in...looked 30lbs lighter....and was acting all weird.

Sadly my ass can't say no...so we end up at his place....he pulls out his pipe and starts smoking...his stomach is growling so freaking loud...he gets on top of me and his hip bone freaking stabs me!

After we play with his limp cock for a bit....he gets on his clothes...ofcourse I didn't even get off...which was ok cuz I wanted to get out of there! But before we goes he points out paitings on the wall and tells me how little aliens and flying saucers are in them but you can only see them with a camera....ugh....

This Pride just gone, my boyfriend and I picked up a cute Oklahoma boy at a bar. We were making out there in the bar, pants were even removed in the bar at one point. By the time we left, he was already pretty drunk. It being Pride, there were no cabs to be found, so we resigned ourselves to walking home. We theorized the walk would sober him up. It did not.

We finally got him home, and we tried to get something started, but he was semi-conscious at best. To carry on would have been little more than rape at that point, so we left him to pass out in our bed, and the two of us went and folded out the couch. Not exactly comfortable, so we didn't get a lot of sleep.

At one point, my ears perked up - it sounded like running water. What could possibly be making that noise this time of night? Open the bedroom door - the boy is standing up, still fast asleep, and pissing all over our bedroom floor. Up the walls, over the curtains, everywhere, but still fast asleep. Once he's finished he just gets back into bed and carries on sleeping.

So the boyf and I are running around with a mop and bucket, laying down towels, while he sleeps. I don't think he even knew he'd done it. When he woke up in the morning, he basically just left without saying much. Needless to say, there was no sex that night.

Oh, and when we got up, we discovered that somebody had been shot on our street corner. Police cordon, blood on the pavement, little green amrkers for where the bullets were found, the works.

I've written about this before. The worst ones were when I ended up in bed with three guys, each one many years apart, with microdicks. Then there was the Utah businessman who didn't want to do anything sexual at all unless he could screw me without a condom (that didn't happen). That would be followed by the guys who just lie there in bed and don't want to do anything (I call that doing the "beached whale routine," even if they're thin). Finally, there are the guys who can't seem to reach orgasm no matter what, but they still want to try for it for about an hour.

funny lol i love these type of stories

OMG!!! that is a nightmare!

tee hee hee Well I guess it's good to know that it's not just straight guys who do this nonsense too.

And then I am sure that there are guys that just want to sniff your ass. That must make for a shitty night as well.

the absolute worst was supposed to be a sex party. turns out they were all 30=40 yrs than they said. false teeth and bad toupees. they were naked when i got there. all verymuch overweight, they tried to get me naked, not happening, then one, to entice me, lure me? started directing the other two in sex acts. dont know if it was pathetic or scary, the tone he used or the way he narrated. I got the hell out real quick

I've only had one bad experience which made me take the decision NEVER to go on blind dates again. I was 18, considered a real hottie and dating a lot but refusing to stick to just one guy, a friend said she knew this really nice guy, in his early 30's (which I considered fairly old at the time), smart, sophisticated, good looking. We arranged a double date with my friend and her guy, me and her blind date guy. He came to pick me up and as he was walking up the drive my mum said who's that, I was expecting him but hadn't told my mum I was expecting anyone, I looked out of the window to see this stooped, grey, wizened guy walking up the drive and blurted out 'oh he's my friends grandad picking me up.' We drove off while I was manically trying to think of a nice way to tell him to bugger off, to add insult to injury when he began talking he had a voice which was encumbered by ever speech impediment and defect going, a lisp, extremely nasal and he sprayed when he spoke. Needless to say we didn't have a great night, I was fuming with my friend all night, refused to talk to him except in monosyllables and left after about 20 minutes pleading a migraine.

For me, it is ALWAYS the one-nighters with gals that look SOMEWHAT like their photos, only 40lbs. heavier, and end up being dead fish with all the skills of a tree trunk.

I mean seriously, I had a gal back in Feb. only go an hour before she was wore out, and while she got hers (3X) I only got ONE of mine. I swear........

Other than that, consider having sex with someone so unappealing that you cannot even have an orgasm, and have to fake it, and damn right, I have been forced to do that more than once. But, that's the internet for you, it's a crapshoot, you never know what you are going to get.

To me, the absolute worst is the ones that say they want to try out some big meat, but come game time, their jaw drops, they half-ass give a headjob and then run away because they are chickenshit. Had that too, total amatuers!

Well, that and men who act like women to get pics and shit..........

I`d have to say my hookup horror was when i got into a relationship with a woman who was too small for me, we did it twice in a year, because she was small i would eat her out everyday, needless to say i believe i turned her into a lesbian.

lafever