| Never Assume Anything
A gentleman asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to anattractive woman. The waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, "This is from the gentleman seated over there," indicatingthe sender.She regarded the wine coolly for a second, not looking at theman, and decided to send a reply note to the man. The waiter, who was lingering for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman. The note read: "For me to accept this bottle, you need tohave a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank, and 8 inches in your pants." After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of hisown in return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter andinstructed him to return this to the woman. It read: "For your information, I have a Ferrari Maranello, a BMW Z8, aMercedes CL600, and a Porsche Turbo in my garages, beautiful homes in California, Aspen, Colorado and Miami. There is over twentymillion dollars in my bank account. BUT, not even for a woman asbeautiful as you, would I cut three inches off. Just send thebottle back! | 
