Singer/songwrite, Bobby McFerrin, wrote a song some years back that we're all famliar with: Don't Worry Be Happy. The song became so popular and so annoying to him that he refuses to play it anymore. He has other songs that he can perform, but almost every show he'd play, some idiot in the crowd would scream out for him to play the one hit wonder that originally launched him into stardom. It drove him nuts.

This shit works the same way. I do not want to hear compliments anymore.


I'm on two adult sites: this board and AdultFriendFinder. I really enjoy this site much more, because there's more room to talk and toe the water. In my inbox on AFF, I've presently over 300 messages even though the get deleted automatically after a period of time. I do not want to hear compliments.

If you're one of the gentlemen who've been sending me message after message, here's some guidelines for you. (Taken from my AFF profile)

The following are words I do not want to hear in a message:
"You're hot" or "You're gorgeous"
*(Keep the flattery to yourself. I don't want to hear it. Consider what you're getting into almost like a business transaction between two equals. Talk to me like I'm human.)

"You wont be sorry." or "I can give you a great shopping spree tomorrow."
*(Do not promise me anything, this isn't that type of business transaction, asshole.)

"I'm an young attractive guy."
*(Don't tell me what you are as far as looks are concerned. I'll be the judge of that.)

"I was just browsing and I found your profile and I liked what I read so now I'm messaging you blah blah fuckity blah blah."
*(I don't want to hear the redundant story of how you came across me. It's obvious you bumped into my ad, otherwise you wouldn't be messaging me.

"I'll be in Austin this weekend. I'm staying at such and such hotel."
*(This is so hilarious. If you're telling me this, I'm going to assume that you live here in Austin and you're married. You're going to touch base with me about meeting, then go rent the room so you can cheat on your wife. Be honest, please.)

*It's my firm opinion that anyone who freely gives out their phone number is stepping over the line, so don't bother.

*You must be able to hold a conversation with me online using some sort of instant messaging application. This means you need to be able to type at least 6000 key strokes an hour). We aren't going to get along if I'm a bigger computer nerd than you. Trust me on that.


Also.........messaging me saying "I don't want to offend you, BUT YOU'RE HOT!" just sounds fucking stupid. Come up with something ELSE TO SAY.