Your experience is not unusual I think. I can come in a minute or two when I masturbate, but when my wife gives me a blow job she usually gives up with jaw ache long before I'm ready to shoot my load. She then lubes up her hands and goes in for a long slow hand job. I gotta be relaxed and even then it can take a while before I can let go. If we talk dirty stuff that turns us both on then I tend to come quicker, but if I think she's getting bored I go off the boil.
I'm sure this is the same as when a women can't come during intercourse - As soon as your girl thinks that you're trying to make her come, she tries to give you a result. Then the performance anxiety spoils her pleasure and she finds she can't do it. The secret is to stop trying. Get rid of the goal orientation, and just enjoy the feelings. It's easy to say, but it can take some mastering. You have to reassure each other that it doesn't matter if you - either of you - don't come this time, because ther is always another time when it might happen. Sex is wonderful!
