Bisexuals Can't Be Faithful

i personaly think that basing relationships on sex is wrong. all that sexual orientation means is which sex you want to have sex with not love. so it all depends on your perception of cheating. plus there are many more things that attract people to eachother like looks, smarts,... personality (ect.). so why would someone who is Bi cheat more than someone who is stright? but realy who bases their relationships on what people look like anyways?

I dunno...I'm gay and I've date 2 bi guys before and both have left me for women, and both times the reasoning was "I just want a more normal life." I'm actually "hanging out" with a bi-guy now and it feels like we are dating, (no sex yet either) but I'm scared to get to emotionally involved with him becuase I don't want to just be another "fling" or "experiment" for anoter bi dude.

it's hard to say.

Well Hottxanboy, I think you just need to find a gay male if you are worried about him leaving you for some pussy. He is Bi after all wanting the best of both worlds.

Who ever said stated the idea of setting ground rules in a relationship is right. Its only cheating if one side has a advantage.

I guess its a touchy subject for some people.

I think that difficulties with commitment and/or fidelity occur with pretty much the same frequency, regardless of sexual orientation.

I find it interesting that the question presented in the poll for this thread is, "Do you think that bisexuals can be in a committed relationship?"

It doesn't say, "Do you think that bisexuals can be completely sexually faithful to one person?"

I could make some comments on the definitions of "committed" vs. "faithful," that they mean different things to different people, and that IMO, the two are not always tied completely together. But I don't want to hijack this thread completely.

The bottom line is, I think some people are more likely than others to "cheat" or go through serial breakups...always thinking things will be a bit better with the next person. And these people will have those tendencies whether they are straight, gay, bi, Christian, Jewish, Muslim (yes, it's true, I know for a fact), younger, older, male, female, or transgendered.

I think the ability to commit and/or to be faithful has a lot more to do with an individual's psychology, and the intensity of his or her sex drive, than it has to do with the orientation of his or her sex drive.

Being faithful is no different for bisexuals than it is for anyone else.

I do, however, feel that unless there is an agreement in place with their partner regarding the other sex that they will be sacrificing a part of themselves.

I know I wouldn't be happy in a relationship with a man who denied me the pleasure of giving him head. A bi male dating a woman would be faced with the same loss if hemmed in with strict monogamous rules. Is that part of them expected to just wither and die, forgotten?

I'm not open enough to share my mate with anyone else, if that's a failing in me, so be it. I also know that I wouldn't feel comfortable putting those kinds of restrictions on another persons pleasure. Because I can't reconcile these two things I have to confess that I would discriminate against getting involved with a bisexual man because I think one of us might suffer in the long run.

To all those who have had successful relationships either as or with a bisexual, you have my admiration. I'm not there yet.

To reiterate, I absolutely believe that bisexuals can remain monogamous, but I question if it is the healthiest thing for them to do so.

The poll asks about a commited relationship, but the original post only asked about faithfulness.

I didn't even notice the poll 'til you mentioned it.

Gillette, I am struck by your skilled intuition and wisdom once again! This is also at the heart of my recent questioning about my own orientation and ability to follow through. The bisexual "condition" includes an orientation towards both sexes... for some it might just be a mild appreciation, for others a deep hunger.


HollyBlue then hits the nail on the head... I would have to agree that the intensity of the sex drive is a large factor affecting one's ability to be faithful. I know from experience mine is much stronger than others. I think HollyBlue shows a high sex drive is not seen as an "excuse" but as a plain fact of a person's physiology.

And as others above point towards love being a factor in all of this... there lies the mystery. Conversations about sex drive or the mind's ability to form a committed relationship can not be discussed without including the mysteriousness of the heart's ability to create meaningful change, to deepen once's experience of sexuality and intimacy. I am learning through these conversations here that my desire to understand my own sex drive, my questioning of my own orientation (present or future) is somewhat incomplete if I do not also question my heart's ability to love.

And all this time,I thought that people who ate Italian bread couldn't be monogamous!
I can't imagine how one has anything to do with the other. Both Cigarbabe and myself are bi [ 50-50] but, we are monogamous and have NO desire to stray.It's about love and commitment as opposed to just sex. For us,being bi means that you are sexually comfortable with either sex,not so much a lifestyle or need for constant affairs.
I know that, what I have in my life now, is incredible, and, the thought of blowing this relationship just doesn't exist for either one of us.

Italian bread? That's another fabulous eggcorn.

[edit] just a casual observation: there seems to be an inordinate amount of nail head hitting going on in the boards lately. Anyone else want to move to ban the use of this phrase on LPSG? Or if not an outright ban at least a temporary moratorium, let the cliche breathe for a minute.

We could always start a group against the abuse of nails.

I could better understand your problem with this if the nail were being hit into the head. Ouch.

EEEEEEEYEEEEWW!!!

spot on, 9"cock: It was a poor choice of words on my part... I will try to find better terms for the nail hitting...

Wow, I like a lot of the open-mindedness here. Not that I'd expect less, there just always seems to be a lot of misconceptions about bisexuality out in the world. (And the positivity could very well be because there are plenty of members here who fall somewhere in the middle.) I have very close friends, who are wonderful people, who either don't understand bisexuality, or insist it doesn't really exist. I think the question here (and a few of the answers,) in my mind and experience, make(s) a certain important assumption - that bisexuality hinges on physical attraction and sex. While that may be true for some, for me, being bisexual simply means I'm attracted to someone independent of what his or her gender is. If and when sex enters a relationship, there it is, and I hopefully enjoy it. But I'm not enjoying it specifically because I'm getting cock, or because I'm getting pussy. It's because I'm sharing something with someone I feel close to. And, well, maybe that's the point. If you're in a healthy relationship, with someone you feel honestly committed to, and love, then the sex isn't why you're there. It's just an added bonus. (Or maybe I'm wrong.... :) )

I am straight, but my wife is bisexual and has a regular femal parnter. I have just recently started sleeping with my wifes female lover. (without my wife present). I started doing this becuase my wifes lover will let me do things to her that my wife will not let me do.
This so far has worked out well for us. I am not threatened by my wife being with another woman. And believe me, my wife is happy because I am not trying to do things to her that she does not like.
What is odd...we both consider our relationship to be a monogamous one. She gets some things from her lover that I can't give her, and I get some things from her lover that my wife wont give me. It works out.
This is where it gets wierd. I for some reason would love to see my wife get the crap screwed out of her by a guy with a HUGE cock. I mean a massive one. She said she has been with "a big guy" before, but when I showed her some pics from here she said that she had never been with anyone that big. Again...I would just like to see it one time.