Ever had a "Man Crush?"

Thanks Dee, glad to see someone else 'gets it.'

And while we're talking.... to the gay men reading this thread...

When you see a gay friend chillin' with a str8 guy, leave it alone! This is one of the things that makes it hard for me to have gay friends and mix in gay circles... There is that gay man who just cannot see str8 guys in the company of gays and not think, "Whatever! He is such a closet queen!"

As soon as the poor str8 guy gets a whif of that, the friendship usualy disolves. I don't blame the poor str8 guy: pressure from his str8 friends for having a gay friend, pressure from the gay friend's friends to drop his skivies and show the goods! It's bull-shit!

Not every str8 guy is a gay guy waiting to happen.

<<Wrey quietly puts on his armour and awaits the attack.>>

In response to HotBulge's question....

I'm the OP (Original poster??), and the sitcom to which I was referring was "The War at Home," kind of a modern-day rip-off of "Married with Children" from several years ago.

Thanks for having the interest to ask, HotBulge--and thanks to all the other people who wrote such great responses. I appreciate your in-put.

Here is my (bisexual) take on things:

I think it is possible for all men to have bromances (love the word, btw). It can be someone we admire or someone that we appreciate for their physical attributes. I have certainly have had a lot of these in my life, it is different in that I have never had a need to jump their bones- just wanted them to hang around me and like me.

This is one of the things that the Puritanical USA can't fathom. There's nothing wrong with men showing emotion to other men. We are taught not to get close to anyone, we're taught to hold in our emotions. Puh-leeze.

In the rest of the world, men kiss each other on the cheek, they spend time together, and it's ok to be close friends with another man. In the USA the only way we can show close friendship is by meeting up at a bar and popping back some brews.

A man-crush or bromance is a natural thing and should be cherished by both parties.

You know, I'm tempted to think that mancrushes are more physically-oriented in nature and that bromances are more emotional. The two have come up in this thread. Guys can admire or appreciate other guys for their physical attributes, and that usually get expressed in different ways. DJG and I have used the word bromance to talk about friendships and emotional relationships with men. You think this idea holds water?

This is my kind of thread. I'm one of the older men who has experienced and appreciates the joys of both "gay" and ''straight" relationships. I've had just five (the total of my sex partners) and every one was or is a long-term bonding in which the sex was and is great because it was a physical confirmation of a bond of friendship/love that had already been formed. Each repeat only got better.

Though I am very happily married and a faithful husband and lover, I admit that I still get "turned on" by some men and some women. I smile to myself when I hit the bathroom shortly afterward as the head of my penis is bathed in delightful natural lubrication which my generous foreskin has nicely contained. Would the man (sometimes young, often not so young) be pleased to know what his mere presence triggered? I think he might as I certainly would.

I have a newish straight friend (a new friend, he's always been straight) who seems to have a man crush on me. He calls me all the time, wants to hang out, gives me books he thinks I might like etc. He's totally relaxed around gay guys and has no trouble meeting and dating girls.

Since he's good looking and fun to be with, I haven't discouraged the man crush aspect but I have to admit it's a little confusing at times having a cute straight boy look at you with puppy dog eyes. My gay friends tease me mercilessly about it and keep asking when I'm going to get him drunk and jump his bones. I am learning a lot about self-control and cold showers.

Bromance = other guy has a clue you like him "that way"

Mancrush = other guy doesn't have a clue. Or is aloof... or preoccupied... or married...


Currently channeling a mancrush into a new story for the fiction section...

Yay! When can we expect this piece of erotica from you? MB wants details.

Uh... as soon as the Puerto Rican Spanish translation is done. I gave the guy the first of five chapters a couple days ago. Short ones.

But it's a long one [ba dump- PAH!]

I eventually realized that my numerous "man crushes" (MC's from now on) were actually crushes, as I was interested in them. And they can deny it all they want, but they were interested too .

That said, seeing that I believe everyone has at least a small subconscious homosexual component to them, it's difficult for me to pass off any attraction as completely nonsexual. You are attracted to people that you desire -- be it envying them for attributes that you lack, or wanting them all to yourself. Therefore, worship of a celebrity or famous rockstar is a MC because you desire what they have, and want it for yourself. Since MC's tend to originate out of humility in the presence of others percieved as greater than one's self, this would make sense.

As a gay man, I can think of one guy in particular that I hung out with a lot for about a year. He always thought that there was a sexual component, and was pretty cool about it, but there really wasn't. He was so great to spend time with and we connected at a musical, artistic, political. and emotional level. He moved across the county and we eventually lost touch. This was a long time ago.

Guys,


I love it. This is great. What you described is basically the highest level of friendship. We all put up with so many people in our lives that drain us yet we still call them friends. A person who helps us to become the best we can be is not always our life partner or romance in the techincal sense. I think this kind of intensity often threatens or scares significant others and that is a shame. A perfect example of this kind of friendship is found in the bible between David and Jonathan nothing sexual but a friendship that is closer than a brother. I think I have yet to find this in another woman.

I would be completely, 100% OK with a bromance. I wouldn't need the sexual, in fact it would be limiting to me at this time & place in my life. To find a close relationship with another male, closer than brothers, without the sexual consonance (meaning, there might be some sexual pull there but it's largely either ignored or treated as natural but not followable) - this is a goal of my life right now. One that I have no idea how to begin attaining.

I have had a few "special friendships" over the course of my life with straight guys. None sexual, but a kind of emotional connection that made the relationship seem unique and intimate - like we could and wanted to tell each other anything, like we were comrades or blood brothers. At certain points it can almost feel like being in love, even when we actually had other partners. Even though I'm a long way away now, there are a couple of those guys who I still feel a deep bond with to this day, and I know they feel the same. It's one of the best and coolest feelings in the world IMO. I have never had the same kind of bond with another gay guy. No idea why - maybe you can tell me.