There's the unsubstantiated myth that black men are bigger that doesn't help your cause at all. You don't mention your size, but I assume by your statement, "I've inherited a reasonably generous genetic endowment from my father's side, if the swim outings with some of my uncles and cousins on that side are any indicator." that you're above average. It may be that you're not as "big" as you think, but that still doesn't excuse the actions you described from the "size queens" that you have enountered. I would never turn a guy out because he wasn't packing what I thought he should.