Size talks with sons

O.K. Friday, I was looking at wristthick's watch pictures, my son saw what I was looking at, he has been uncomfortable around me since and I think I found a cum rag yesterday but that is another thread. I am worried that he might think that that is a normal penis size and he is lacking. Look I have every talk known to man or so I thought with my boy (evidently I should have had one about hiding cum rags better) do I need to talk about size with him or will he have to seek professional help if I do? What the hell am I suppose to cover? Is he instead traumitizied because I was looking at penises??????

Since I don't have any children I don't know what to tell you for sure.
I do remeber being a bit shocked the first time I saw a penis much larger than my own when I was young.

Do you have any male relatives or close friends that are also close with your son? If so it may be easier if you get one of them to have this talk with him. You don't say how old your son is, but penis size can cause a real lack of self esteem at certain ages. A talk may well help especially if from a close male relative.

Hope this helps you and your son. I went through something like this when I was young and it was not good for me at all.

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A few questions:

• Where is your son's father?
• How old is your son?
• Do you think your son is more cognitively mature or less mature than his peers?

I am asking about the son's father because your son may take a talk about male sexuality easier from another man. It may be more traumatizing to have such a talk with "mom". (Roll eyeballs, gag me with a spoon teen response :-) )

I wonder if your son has a different interpretation of the pictures than you do. I would wonder if he suspects you of infidelity. Your discovery of your son's cum rag is (probably) independent of your son's discovery of your browsing habits. Your son is an adolescent and has probably been using some form of a cumrag since he discovered puberty. I suspect that he is wondering why his mother has pictures of another man's cock.

I want to be explicitly clear that I'm not judging you or your reasons to look at LPSG pictures. Your difficult situation is that you are in the awkward position of explaining your interest in LPSG to him, if you choose to open up the subject. My concern is that you may be using the issue of him discovering your LPSG viewing habits as a pretext for inquiring into his own sexuality.

Depends on the relationship. If he's distanced himself from you it's precisely because he doesn't want to bring-up the subject and he's worried you will. No guy wants to see his mother looking a penis, even if she's a urologist. No guy wants to discuss penis with his mother either.

There's just no way to approach the subject without opening a minefield. If you feel this is a big problem, write him a note.

Tell him you're sorry you weren't more private in your viewing, didn't mean to make him feel uncomfortable and that looking at men's genitals on the internet doesn't mean you're dissatisfied or have a relationship problem with his father. You won't bring-up the subject again unless he does first. If he has any questions about sex or his development you and his father are always happy to help.

That's it. He's well aware men come in different shapes and sizes and bringing-up the matter will only make him more uncomfortable. Leave the cumrag out of it. One really embarrassing thing at a time.

What a difficult thing to go through! My heart goes out to you.

My two cents are that I think you should talk this over with your husband. If he knows you visit this site, he probably knows the reasons and will be a big help in dealing with the situation.

I do think it needs to be addressed, one way or another, if for no other reason than your son's self-esteem and body image. I also think the best person to talk to him would be his father. That way, he can also be assured that his dad knows you visit this site, and your marriage is not in jeopardy.

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Chrysalis is now HollyBlue.

There's a few intangibles that makes all the difference in an assessment of this situation...

1) Why and How did he catch you looking at the pictures?

2) Is your husband his father? This sounds like an issue that both you and your husband needs to discuss with him together. Your husband to explain "male" things to him, and you to explain why you were viewing what you did. Both of you to explain what the deal is/was.

3)How old is he?

I guess this is one of those "Oh Shit" moments that are inevitable in parenting, but you, husband, and your son would be best served to talk this thing out instead of let what he saw you doing fester in his mind and left to his own conclusions.

...OB

I had to deal with this issue as I have spoken about in another thread a while back. My nephews like to sneak a peek at the urinal. Their father (my wife's brother) is useless and I would have hated to make their mother tackle the issue, so I did. We talked about bathroom protocol and then the size issue.

I recommend that if they have an uncle or if you have a close male friend, that you have them help you (assuming that there is no father around to do so).

No try to hear this with the intent is delivered. It is now time to get a trusted mature male on the scene. If the boy's dad is not in the picture pick a male friend or relative right away who will have a guy to guy talk with your son. My own daughter was in a like situation coupled with the fact that as a divrced woman she had a "can't trust no man" attitude.
Unfortunate as that was there was a young man who needed a guy talk. I came into the scene with a bag of bananas (all sizes), a dozen condoms (all brands) and went from a to z over a couple of afternoons last summer. There were a lot of questions, (some real dumb), quite a bit of urban myth from the young man's side and a lot of answers on my end of the picnic bench. So be a good Mom and reach out. I believe it is a guy to guy thing.

If his dad is not in the picture, then another respected or at least liked adult male should have "the size talk" with him.

I'd gloss over the whole you looking at lpsg.org thing. TRUST ME, he is probably trying to erase the image of his mom looking at peises on the internet! He does not want to talk about it. Besides no child wants to think or talk about there parents sexual activity. Heck, I'm 40 and the thought of my parents having sex still creeps me out.

If you do insist on having this conversation be prepared to pay for his therapy bills in about 10 years.

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Leave well alone.

LOL. No, you shouldnt talk to him about that. He'll just have to repress the memory of his mom looking at cocks.

a broken hero on a last chance power drive

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Leave it alone..

He knows what you had to do for him to be here and why you would be looking at cocks, but its the last thing he wants to talk to his mum about. As for his size, he has friends, gym class, movies etc so unless he is exceptionally small and he might feel inadequate he will work it all out on his own like most/all guys do

I know I'd be more uncomfortable to find my mother looking at the pictures. The fear that I wasn't as big as the men would never cross my mind.

In the son's mind, the idea of the mother even having a sexuality is very unsettling. Maybe not all men are, but I know I am that way, and all men I've known are that way. If you ever want to make a man lose his erection, talk to him about his mother.

I think the absolute last thing in the world you should do is have any talk with your son about his penis size. This situation is unusual and unfortunate, but I think the best you can do is just not talk about it and hope that it is forgotten at some point. Let it become "one of those things" that is unusual but is allowed to die down. There are some situations where talking about it only makes it worse.

Just my thoughts. Maybe you should talk to a therapist about this. But my thought is that you should only talk to your son about his penis size if HE asks a question about it.

It's not something boys wanna discuss with their mom, they wanna discuss it with peers.

But better than talking is seeing. If he doesn't regularly see other boys and adult men naked (rugby showers, swimming coaches, you know) then make sure he does see them regularly from now on. Not porn stars, but boys and men he knows.

I agree that it's important for males to see other normal male bodies. One of the most common things to hear is that men develop hang-ups about their penis size as a result of porn which always features men who are in the 99 percentile.

On the other hand, how do you suggest a mother find a way to ensure that a son see other males naked?

I think the best thing she can do is let go of the whole topic and let him sort it out for himself. I don't think a young male sound seek out nude male bodies just for the sake of seeing them, but that it should happen in a context of something else, such as, as you said, rugby, or some other sporting or health club situation.