Invent Your Sexual Position

Basically it's just straight sex, missionary postion, doggie style ,
whatever you like. But with a twist, Verne Troyer ( Mini Me )
is strapped to the man's torso giving the woman two
insertions for the price of one.



The Flamming Homer

You mean flaming homer, right?
Well two guys take turns farting and lighting a match. While the other one swings his cock into the flames as hard as he can. The first one to not have his dick burn off wins.

Stupid, i know. but i didnt know what else to say about it. lol

The limber siamese astronaut

The Limber Siamese Astronaut involves a m/f couple, wearing body suits that expose genitalia as well as erogenous zones, the suits suspended by cables. It is likened to a Calder mobile, as the partners are free to move in graceful but damped arcs, with the movement of the cables always keeping the partners in contact at some point on their bodies, if not engaging genitalia. [I just revisited "Logan's Run" last week and I think the Carousel scene might have influenced this]

The LSA is kinda equipment intensive, but future development of superconductors will allow for anti-gravity devices to replace the cable system described.

Pretzel Logic

Pretzel Logic

This is the classic pick-up technique found in almost every ashram where a horny yogi plows a comely student. Contortions ensue.

Pretzel Logic

This is the classic pick-up technique found in almost every ashram where a horny yogi plows a comely student. Contortions ensue.

SSSSteamed Heat

The Split Infinitive is: to boldly go... where no man has gone before

The Dangling Participle: Hopefully, a partner on their knees reaches up to stroke with outward motion the participle that dangles from a LPSG member

SSSSteamed Heat only happens in the back of the finest Chinese restaurants. A nubile Szechwan dumpling is presented to you in private, in a bamboo basket, garnished with her sister, after having been steamed to a degree of slick, sweet-n-sour pleasure. All activity is confined to the basket - a one dish meal.

BAM! Three in one post!

Would it be dastardly to say BOPPERBASTING?

OK...

Bitch On Wheels

Bitch on Wheels:

Spin-off on angry sex. Angry person in passengers' seat climbs over the drivers' seat and attempts to grind driver into their seat as they're driving. Warning: angry sexual distraction could cause accidents. Best attempted when car is parked.


Mea Culpa

I wanna see Bitch On Wheels in the Viper

*laughs until the tears fall*

I'll see if we can arrange that.

Please don't worry. No apologies necessary.

on to the next...

Anagram for Lace Ma Up- wife who enjoys bondage when the kiddies are off to sleep


Bermuda Triangle

[phew!]

The Bermuda Triangle kinda sucks... for one person at least. One person stands in the middle of a three-way daisy chain, and pretends to not be there.

Thought y'all might enjoy the doodle that helped the thought process on that one...



"... so then she and her girl asked me, they say hey, we want to WORK OUT A DEAL with you tonight, and I was like hail yea and then panties were droppin'..."

Attached Images

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bump

C'mon, I was having fun with this

I was, too, though I've been spending my creative juices elsewhere lately. What was the last one anyway? Mea culpa?

Mea culpa: Whilst having sex with a woman from behind, "accidentally" slip your dick into her arsehole. When she turns around to give you a dirty look, act like you didn't realize you put it in the wrong orifice. shrug your shoulders, look innocent and say "mea culpa". Or if your not the type to use latin lingo "whoops, my bad" works just as well.

Here you go, DannyHorse: Lock and Load

You missed Work Out A Deal, but no biggie

Lock And Load: simply put, sex up against a wall - the giving partner is backed against the wall, where the receiving partner is grinding/pinning the other against, locking them in until a load is unloaded.

I guess that could be the indoor variant of Bitch On Wheels

Bouncing Off The Satellites

This takes two partners. One must be larger in size (height, weight) than the other (smaller must orbit around the larger). The standing larger partner (primary object) picks up the smaller (satellite) who wraps their legs around and allows the larger partner to penetrate them. The satellite "orbits" around, defying gravity the entire time with help from the "primary object". The pace and fluidity of the act is determined by the movements from the orbiting "satellite".

Phantom Tollbooth