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limbo

I've recently developed feelings for a close friend of mine and I don't know what to do about it. Is it even possible to exit the friend zone? We've been friends for about 2 years.

is part of a discussion in the Women's Issues forum that includes topics on A special place for women (men are welcome to participate too).


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Old 11-14-2006   #1 (permalink)
Blueman is offline
limbo

I've recently developed feelings for a close friend of mine and I don't know what to do about it. Is it even possible to exit the friend zone? We've been friends for about 2 years. During which i had one girlfriend and she had 2 boyfriends. I've thought about the whole tell her how you feel thing but it always turns out bad when i have that conversation with myself. Any insight would be appreciated
 
Old 11-14-2006   #2 (permalink)
Lordpendragon is offline

I favour honesty Blueman - go out for an unromantic meal or beer and just be straight with her.

I like you very much - I value our friendship, but I must be honest and say that I am feeling more for you than a regular friend. I don't want to be dishonest about my feelings with you. Can we deal with this?
 
Old 11-14-2006   #3 (permalink)
londongirl is offline

I'm with you on this one Blueman as I'm in a similar situation. petrified of saying something that will lose me a good friend. I'm been through all the conversations in my head (not voices, honest), but never get the right time and they'd all go wrong, mostly because he hasn't read the script that i;ve prepared. I;m sure that he guesses, but is choosing to ignore it. I think LP is right, quiet, non drunken and not in your house. Don;t want to be left moping if it all goes wrong. Always have an exit plan. Think how much you;d miss her friendship. if you can deal with her not fancying you and still be friends, then go for it. Good luck, I hope it works out. I'm too much of coward to try.
 
Old 11-15-2006   #4 (permalink)
Blueman is offline

Well you see the whole reason I feel as if I should tell her or avoid it all together is because we're really good friends and all but about a month ago when, when the feelings first started to manifest, we were at a party and she ended up hooking up with some guy. I was thinking of asking her if it was a random thing but I figured that would be awkward but she ended up telling me out of no where that she isn't in the habit of doing that all the time. We hang out quite often and many people ask if we're more and i give the honest answer which is yes, but i want more than that. But when it comes to telling her, or making a move im freaked out as what will happen. I'm 19 and shes 18, i've had a few girlfriends before but none that i was friends with for such a long time prior so it makes it all that much harder for me to come out and say it. I'm pretty sure i just beat the dead horse with a stick...again
 
Old 11-15-2006   #5 (permalink)
Snakebyte is offline

I had this once.
She didn't have the same feelings but was really cool and the friendship went on. Of course not all girls react that way. She might feel betrayed. But if you don't try, you'll never know.

What is worse?
Losing a friend or living a lie?
 
Old 11-15-2006   #6 (permalink)
horribleperson is offline

step 1: get drunk with her and see what happens grope/feel/touch BUT dont fuck her

step 2: when your both SOBER sit down and have a talk about the 2 of you and where is it going
 

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