I will agree. There have been many instances outside of dating where I have done things and said things I wish I hadn't. Think about this. He is your very special friend. Did he look at you when you beat off? If he is with the girl of his dreams, then it may be selfish to ask him. How would you feel if your girlfriend was being active with her best friend and not telling you? You might not care, but the girl may... I would leave it. You may outgrow this fantasy too...