Little Girl, Big Problem

Hi everybody. Im new here and I have a huge problem. I joined this support group because my boyfriend has a huge dick. We have been dating for about six months and I have recently lost my virginity to him. It was to put it plainly the worst, most excruciating pain I have ever felt in my life and it hasn't got any better since then. We have tried unsuccessfully to have sex about five times already and every time we try it just doesnt work. Sometimes I can take in all of him but it gets so painful that i tense up and then it just gets worse. We have tried several things so far. He has been fingering me for about three months now and before we ever try sex we have lots of foreplay and im really wet but the second he enters me it hurts and i dry up. i am really petite and my gynecologist has told me that i have a rather smal vagina but i should be able to accomodate most penis sizes. my boyfriend has been really sweet and patient about it this issue but im beginning to feel very frustrated. please help me!

silicon based lube.. and try taking him when he's half hard and let him grow inside you.. this will help....

It takes time. Take it slow,and in time everything will be fine....

No miracle cures I'm afraid. Just time and lube.

Oh and don't leave it too long between tries, lots of women are cursed by an amazing ability to shrink back fast, and then you might have to go through the whole thing all over again

I will agree wholeheartedly with Kotchanski on the tissue expansion. You must increase the elasticity of your vagina, which might mean increasing the tissue's surface area somewhat. You must stretch to the point right before you start to do damage, then back off, let it heal but not constrict, and repeat the process again. You should be working with your fingers to stretch yourself manually.

Actually you should PM Kotchanski, she is an expert on this and has amazingly versatile vaginal walls, she can help you.

Is the problem the length or the girth of the penis??

If it's the length then you can try different positions or a 'doughnut', if it's the girth then you really will have to rely on lots of lube and naturally adapting to his size over time

Good luck

go out and buy a couple of dildos, each one bigger then the other, keep using them until you get used to the smallest one and then move up to the next size and so on. also try and have sx withyour bf more often, try for atleast once a week, your body will get used to the idea of having something big in it and you will start to relax

I just want to chime in here and tel you not to give up. You will be able to accomidate him eventually. It is just a matter of time and practice. Don't tense up, stay relaxed. Tensing up only makes things tighter. Don't be aprihensive either, this will also cause you to tense up as well.

I wish I could give some sage advice. But I'll just let you know that I'm kinda small - 5 foot 2 in., and my bf's penis is very large and I love it. So like the other people said, just give it time and try lube or something. In time you'll probably love it too!

Sweetnsassy

Welcome to LPSG. Hope you can find what you need to have great love/sex here.

You said that you start with a lot of foreplay and you are wet.
When my wife is tight, we use the side position. Both laying on the same side with me behind her. She puts her top leg back over me which opens her up. I get into position so that just my dick head is at her pussy. Use my hand to rub my dick head in/around her pussy to get us both wet. Keep rotating my dick as we move it deeper inside her.

There are times when she is really tight and we only put my dick head inside her and just push me in/out of her pussy without much penetration. Usually the second or third night I get deep inside her. And then we switch to cowgirl so that she controls the sex, type and depth of penetration, rubs her g-spot and cervix. Cowgirls leave my hands free to play with her tits, rub her back and butt. If you don't like cowgirl then stay on your sides; sounds like he is big enough to fill you in that position.

Good luck, and take it slow. Slow sex will get both of you hotter.

There is one other option.. as u have just lsot your vaginity your prob young and unlikely to marry this guy. U could get another boy friend.. spread the happiness around!! Otherwise clench your jaw, use lots of lube, give it time and take it like a women!

I agree with most replies. It takes time...but the vagina is an amazing thing - it can expand and it can shrink. I think it's just a matter of time and usage...use lube when you get dry and concentrate on the pleasure side of things...good luck (remember - you are blessed to have a large cock at hand! :-))

We have been together for 32 years and only figured out last year that we have the same problem as you do. My wife has been trying to dilate with increasing diameters of dildos and vibrators for about a year now but she is not consistent in her dilation routines and she also may have some "issues" that she hasn't figured out and dealt with yet. Part of the problem is that she can't get past the idea that it will hurt. She wants to have intercourse without pain and wants to be able to acommodate me but she needs to relax and get into foreplay which she has never been excited about. We are doing better and she is more open minded than ever.

You have the advantage of having recognized the problem early in your relationship and being able to get good advice from this group. If you want intercourse to work and are willing to put in the time and effort and do some relaxation techniques you will be able to enjoy all of your boy friend.

lube, lube, lube..you can never have enough. Personally i prefer water based but that is personal preference.

When he enters you ask him to hold his hand around the bottom half to reduce the length of his cock so you dont have to take in as much. Also be aware that time and place makes a big difference..if you are being rushed and are worried about people being around you will never realx properly. If that is a issue get a hotel for the night so there will be no intereuptions.

You said you are having plenty of foreplay, using lube, relaxing so maybe try dildos and vibrators..get him to use them on you or do it yourself, whichever you are comfortable with.. They arent just for single girls, they are wonderful to use during forplay too.

And yeah it is going to hurt but you do need to increse the amount you are having sex otherwise when you do stretch it will go back before the next session making it painful all over again

Your gynacologist says your vagina is smallish, but otherwise ok. You say you have been able to get all of your boyfriends penis in, but then it hurts and you tense up. It sounds to me like a condition called vaginismus.
Your first intercourse was very painful. And anxiety about expected pain causes your vagina to involuntarily tighten every time now. By carrying on having painful sex you are compounding the problem, so I would urge you to do something about it as soon as you can. You and your boyfriend can find lots of advice on the subject of vaginismus on the net, or you can ask your doctor to refer you to a sex therapist. Either way you must do something about it. For the time being, I'd suggest that you stop trying to have intercourse as it's obviously triggering vaginismus every time. Instead, concentrate on having a good time. Take the pressure off yourself. Ask your boyfriend to be patient and understanding. Pleasure each other with your hands, mouths, imaginations, etc. and take time to win your vagina's confidence. Sounds strange? Look at it this way: Every time your boyfriend and you start to get it on, your vagina is sure she's going to get hurt. No wonder she gets tense and dry - she's simply trying to protect herself. You must work with your vagina not against her, and that means that you must take charge of how she is touched, how many fingers go in, etc. You need to communicate with your boyfriend all the way through the sex act. Tell him how he's doing, tell him what you'd like. Encourage him to communicate with you. He needs reassurance too. I'm sure you can understand that.

As soon as you want to try his cock inside you (and not out of a sence of duty) I think you should get him to lie on his back and you sit astride him so that you can control how much goes in. He's going to have to be very strong with himself and resist the temptation of grabbing you and thrusting, as that will probably cause your vagina to panic and tighten. Like I say, you gotta stay in control. If you can manage a bit of painless penetration - even if you only put it in a little way, and only for a few seconds - without pain, you will have achieved something important: You will have started to re-program your vagina's response. You can finish the sex session orally or manually, and congratulate yourselves. Obviously, it will take a good few tries, and you might have a few failures (moments when your vagina goes into it's scared and tighening routine) but I'm sure you can win your vagina's confidence with kindness and understanding.
Best of luck. Keep us posted.