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Originally Posted by Lex  An Important point: Gay is not a lifestyle and orientation is not choice.
A person does not choose to be straight ot gay. They choose to either accept their orientation fully and love themselves or they choose to deny, repress and hide themselves which can often lead to self-destructive behaviors, depression, etc. You have no chosen to be what you are, you simply ARE. Your next steps are possibly to discover ALL of who you are and decide to accept or reject. Self-acceptance is the big choice, especially in a world that rejects difference.
There are many types of people represented in the gay community (as in the Straight community)--some are more masculine and some are more feminine and there is a huge range: from masculine looking men who act like in femine ways to feminine looking men who are dominant and very agressive. Don't let the rampant heterosexisim of our society make you feel as if you have to choose the one "world" over the other world. Our work is to make this planet a place where these worlds seamlessly interact and are one so that young people such as yourself don't feel pressured to conform to EITHER set of stereotypes and, instead, can forge your own path. |
I'm sorry. You're absolutely right in what you are saying, but this is not quite what I was speaking to. I wasn't very clear I guess, partly because it is still not quite clear in my head. Please know that I fully understand the nature of orientation and that it is not a choice, and likewise with masculinity and the importance of knowing yourself, yadda yadda.
I think what I was speaking to here was the fact that in the gay communities/arenas that I have been in (read: places that are dominated by gays; i.e. midtown atlanta, gay bars, even with some groups of gay friends, etc) I feel a very high sexual tension that really just makes me uncomfortable alot of the time. In a straight-dominated arena I don't have to double-read every sentence and dodge glances from people because I don't want them to think I'm flirting with them. It's just more laid-back for me, easier-going. That's all I meant to say.
