The Evil Genie game

Your wish has been granted. Due to a boneheaded mistake, you have been terminated from the company employment roster, due to other errors, you cannot get unemployment benefits and will soon be selling pencils at the bus depot.


I wish hayfever season didn't make my eyes burn.

Granted. It makes them freeze

I wish I had another set of udders

wish granted. now, everyone comes up to you and says, "Do unto udders as you would have dem do unto you."

I wish that today were Saturday and not Sunday.

Granted, but your boss fires you for skipping work on Monday


I wish somebody would help me fund my film project

Granted, but you fail to read the small print on this "loan", which claims ungodly interest charges that keep you in debt for the rest of your life.

I wish I were wealthy enough to retire.

Granted. You are now quite wealthy and can retire-sadly for you, on the third day of your retirement, you fall victim to a nearly fatal disease which leaves your hands, legs and other parts non-functioning. In a horrible twist, your long lost twin takes your place and enjoys your wealth for the next 36 years before succumbing to death during wild sex at age 90.



I wish I knew where my gloves were.

You find them - after falling to the bottom of a well.

I wish we had some more electable presidential candidates.

Wish Granted! They've been selected by a focus group of people who spend 12 or more hours a week watching reality TV shows.

I wish the work I have to get done today was already done.

Wish granted - oh, sorry, is it tomorrow, already?

I wish I had become a mathematician instead of a musician so I could have weekends off.

Wish granted. Now you teach math and your weekends are spent ... grading papers

I wish I had the house to myself tonight like I thought I would

Granted. Oops. the evil genie is 1 week too late.

I wish I could get udder reduction surgery

granted....you get buttermilk production increased....
\

I wish the weeds min my yard would just disappear

Granted! The weeds disappear and your yard is replaced by a swampy moat inhabited by alligators.

I wish my migraine headaches would go away and never come back.

Granted! The painless severing of your corrugator supercilli muscle from the zygomaticotemporal nerve eliminates your chronic headaches, but also adjusts your vision so that you able to only see the infrared spectrum.


I wish I had my favorite LPSG lust object (or one of them - 4 or 5 people could claim that title) tied to my bed right now, stretched out, nude, hard as a rock, waiting for me to come in there and use every party of my body to torture him with pleasure and bring him off to at least 6 intense orgasms before letting him go.

Wish Granted! Your favorite objects of lust and adoration are nude, hard, hung, and tied to your bed. Unfortunately, you are now 100% straight. You call over your petite, slender, big boobed, Asian girlfriend and video her servicing all of them in a veritable plethora of ways. You enjoy this because they are alway bigger than you.

I wish I had my own greenhouse.