Well, I've had the majority of women tell me that I was the largest that they'd ever had, and a few say that they'd had similar but not larger. I think alot of women just compare in categories, such as small/average/large/huge.
I've had women guess from anywhere between 8" to 16" (I'm 10.5") and a few who were pretty close.

Yes, I am confident that I'm much larger than most white men.

As for the racial thing and revenge... unfortunately, that does happen and I've heard friends actually brag about it.