straight guys, jacking off with friends? how?

I did it once with a buddy when we were like 25 or so. We were sharing a hotel room on a trip to NYC for a game and hit the bars and got a little trashed. He stayed out with a girl we had met and I headed back to the room and started wanking to porn on tv when he walked in. After some teasing he whipped his out and wanked too. The next morning we never mentioned it. All guys jack and we all get hard, so as long as your not touching, what's the big deal.

Do straight teens who jerk off together grow up to be guys who are comfortable having sex in front of each other? Porn seems to be full of MWM scenes. Is it really common? Or do the same hang-ups apply?

Over the last couple of years, I have been doing lots of reading....lots of Christian reading really, about "same sex (male) attraction as such. (YES! there really are good Christian-authored books out there exploring this sensitive subject without all the judgment and condemnation to hell, either.)

You see, I'm trying to understand what makes us guys "tick", you know? Why DO we like being pals with men yet, feel so very uncomfortable about this? It's complicated and very deep stuff, really. The fact that we desire to be around other men is really a good sign because this "need" is deeply engrained into us as human males. (Did YOU ever know this? I didn't!) But our culture, (particularly Western culture--i.e. America) seems to frown upon, even discourage men getting too close to one another. It's not easy for men to "be close friends". And, we're missing out, guys. We really are. And we don't even know it. But, we're suffering on account of it...sadly so.

It seems to boil down though, to the fact that men need one another to fuel our desire to be accepted, affirmed as men, and be allowed to bond with each other in healthy friendships....and, not necessarily "relationships" as such, either. Just really close friendships. Caring. Emotionally nurturing friendships. Like--(for example) building one another up. Being there for one another. Camaraderie. Looking out for one another.

Those of us men however, who grew up without such "bonding"...be it with our dads or other male figures in our early lives, actually suffered a deficit in close male friendships. Then, during adolescence (when our hormones kicked in) if we weren't comfortable with our own masculinity and were denied acceptance of other guys all around us, this inner longing for being one of the guys became "sexualized" (YES! a legitimate psych term!) and we thus started venturing into mutual masturbation and other same-sex behavior whenever we got the chance. Many of us fell quite innocently into all this stuff. For some, we've brought this kind of behavior right on into our adulthood. Along with all the 'shame' associated with it.

There is no real "shame" wanting same sex friendships (or even having same sex attraction) because these feelings CAN be explained. But, it's our individual response (and the potential subsequent behavior to that response) that can complicate our lives. And---has. Same-sex mutual masturabation isn't how we men were originally designed to otherwise enjoy healthy satisfying sexual lives! Just think about it. Even solo masturbation becomes "old". Particularly as we mature later in life. Self-pleasuring can run its course for many of us men. It becomes (surprisingly) quite monotonous and mundane. --Who would have ever thought? I know I'm not by myself, guys.
Others might admit to this, I dunno. I tend to think from my reading that I'm in very good company!

It takes some of us guys many, many years to figure all this stuff out. And, it can be a very painful emotional journey! For me, it's been worth taking. I understand more about life now. And I have gained such insight into what I read about right here in this forum. We DO need one another guys! In very good, positive ways.

this post is worth repeating.
much of it rings true to many men in our society today, just take a look around.

E

i reckon this is one of those things that is different for every person

my mate and i jack off together and watch porn quite often; for us i guess it started cos we were both dorky and experimented with sexaul things together

while we were never attracted to each other, being at a catholic school where neither of us knew any girls it was the only way to share and get more confident with ourselves sexually by learning bout it together

started off lookin at pics of shania twain and talking bout our dicks and sex, the fact it was naughty made it more exciting too

now im married and he has a girlfriend but we often go to porn shops and watch videos together. i enjoy it cos i like his seeing that my dick is bigger than his and the curiosity in his eyes etc

we dont get naked, dont touch each other, just do sexual things that were not allowed to do at home.

I personally do not think it has a whole lot to do with gay/straight orientation as to whether this happens. I am reminded of a situation where a straight bud of mine who was 18 and I was 22 and already gay ( but not out or known to be gay by him) decided to jack off together after he made a comment about my big cock! It was cool and we never talked about it afterwards, nor did it affect our lifetime straight relationship together!

This is definitely a growing up experience/ drunk in college experience. I never had the pleasure of jackin’ with my buds, but I was way too uncomfortable in my sexuality growing up to share it with another person. I don't think that it usually extends into adulthood, and it's a relatively normal thing to happen. The thing is this, you can’t make it happen. A straight guy isn’t going to plan on this happening. It just kind of happens. I would also agree with Donkeyboy that this isn’t about sexual orientation, more a growing into your own sexuality.

It does happen but you kind of have to build up that relationship first. for me in my teen years it dtsrted with trading porn vhs's with mates, sooner of later you are alone in the house and a mate asks you if you have anything new - a 'yes' answer would lead to 'lets have a look" - before you know it you are both jackin off. pretty soon the group grows until before you know it you are arranging to all go over to someone's house cause you know the parental units are away and everyone knows why they are there! It wasnt an attraction thing - itd more like a male bonding thing (b4 girlfriends came into the picture). It phased off late teens and has only happpened in my 20s with one mate a few times, who i didn't know was after me. The one time we had sex kinda put a stop to it because he felt he had explored his sexulaity and for him the mutual jack off sessions had been leading up to it.

So - it did happen, but hasn't for a few years now, i kinda miss it as for me it wasn't about being sexual with a bunch of guys, it was about being a guy whilst in a room with a bunch of likeminded guys - which was a big difference.

jonas

I masturbated with two friends of mine, but it was not mutual: each of us jerked his own tool. In both occasions, it happened as we were watching porn: we got so hot that cocks in the trousers were about to explode, and we could not go on rubbing them through the fabric.
I folded my hand in my pants, so did my friend.

Then the two episodes were different:

- in one occasion the friend was into groups jerks, and told me: “c’mon, take it out, we are all men here, do not be ashamed”.
- In the other occasion, i asked my friend if he was comfortable squeezing his meat in his trousers. He said nothing. Then, don’t ask me why, i took out my cock and went on masturbating. He followed in a minute.

So many things to say here First I myself have never done this with a friend (although I would not be against it) I did however do this with an uncle...being as how I was adopted I am not technically related to him so I never think of it as incest so don't anyone start with that.

The comedy here is from all the homophobes who say they would not do this with a friend of course some of these same persons have the sexual fantasy (or in some cases claim to have actually done it) of having a three way with their best friends wife or girlfriend while their friend is there and sometimes before or after the friend has had sex with the wife or girlfriend That seems a lot gayer than just masturbating in a circle jerk.

I still say having a jerk with a good buddy is a blast! Call it Gay, Straight, Bi or Alien for all I care.....it is fun and feels great.
Sometimes alcohol may have got it started, but no doubt it was already on everyones mind. Don't know about you, but when I start watching some porn, my dick gets hard! Sitting there with a hard on and being uncomfortable is not my idea of how to spend an evening. My buddies know I like to jerk, and I know they like to as well.
What's the big deal here? We are so screwed up! WE have no problem going out to a bar or where ever and picking up some strange girl, bringing her home and having sex with her.....and all the crazy sexual situations that can bring .
But sharing a wank with one of your best buds is "Gay" or "Wierd". Are we so uncomfortable with who we are?

Just reading that a teacher in Dallas was fired for bring her 5th grade class to the Dallas Art Museum. One of the parents complained that there were NUDES depicted in some of the art work......so the teacher was fired! Is this what our society has become? Are we going back to the middle ages?
BE a MAN......you have a cock....you enjoy spanking that bad boy.......if the situation arises......share it with a good friend. If not, shut up and keep wankin in the dark bathroom or under your bed......God knows it might be "Gay" to look at your dick!

Does that mean you did jack off before you were 8 yrd old? LOL

DAMN DUDE< THAT WAS PRETTY GOOD!

I concur... Great post.