Gay 'cure'

All forms of genital thought are welcome.

Just as an aside. GACK! Highlighting green text for editing turns it pink.

God no !

Would I want a pill to cure me of being straight? Neither gays nor straights need curing. They are manifesting their natural being. Taking an anti-gay pill smacks of the tendency of too many people who take drastic measures to alter their apprearance. There is nothing wrong with being gay, and eventually society will come to accept that.

Still, surely we should be aware that many support groups for gay men and their families have used a variation of this question as a standard discussion opener for decades now. The question doesn't just get at homophobia and self-loathing, although there is more than a tinge of that in there, but also about the fear and isolation that many young people feel. In other words, "What are you so afraid of?" is not as good a discussion opener as this one, but both open up the pathways to understanding what there is to value about being different, even when there is a price to be paid.

I agree with your sentiments completely, FF, but even though gay men have a rougher than usual rite of passage, IMO they emerge stronger from the experience. Granted, I hang out with only a few gay men in the "real world," but I have also observed an inordinately high number of strong gay men at this site who embrace their sexuality despite their having coped with the inevitable angst of coming to grips with it in our homophobic culture. That seems to occur to all people who are different from the norm -- artists, for example. The fear and isolation some feel should dissipate when the person achieves some degree of acceptance of self and celebrate his uniqueness. Of course, I may not have a full understanding of the impact of that isolation and am willing to alter my opinion if it is skewed out of ignorance.

ColJohn--the rates of depression, drug/alacohol abuse and suicide are alarming among people in the gay community. It's rather staggering, actually. And the isoloation can be maddening. I am never physically alone (As I have afamily) and I often feel alone. It's crazy. I do, however, feel I will be a stronger person at the end of my journey for having struggled so mightily.

I guess I am maybe both right and wrong, then. Do those rates of depression, etc., occur because of the isolation or because of the gay genetic make-up?

Lex, I am stunned that you of all people would ever feel alone. I assumed that people gravitate toward you and that you derive much pleasure from companionship because you are so self-assured and compassionate. It seems I am wrong again. My batting average is weak today.

Thanks for the thoughtful last posts in this thread all!
Personally I don't think there is such a thing a gay genetic make-up, but that's an other discussion...
The rates of depression, alcohol and drug abuse, suicide, etc. occur because of real experiences and/or feeling of being rejected by family and/or (parts of) society - alienation, loneliness, self-loathing - the list is endless.
It actually takes of lot struggle, of energy and drive, of inner work, etc. etc. for a gay person to create for him/herself a safe and harmonious place in this world and not the least to achieve a clear self-image. All of those things that any straight person takes for granted and never have to give a second thought to, gay people have to struggle for.
And for many this becomes a life-or-death struggle.
- From the moment a gay person comes aware og his/her sexuality it is almost double the work to create a place for themselves in the world - for years and even decades ahead. As all of you know, simply getting done with education and finding a professional path takes a lot, often it takes all you've got - now imagine doubling that effort and you'll get an idea of what it takes for a gay person to create their base for a good life.
Sure, it makes one stronger - but I sometimes feel really annoyed about those years upon years I have used to come to terms with myself and society - in many ways they feel like wasted years and wasted energy - they could sure have been used much more constructively than to dig through the prejudices of the masses and the hostility towards gays and general self-loathing that is baked into much of religion, etc. etc. - It's not an enjoyable task, I can actually well understand that some just can't deal with it - especially if the support of close family is lacking.

Between you and Lex, you have convinced me that I am wrong in my thinking. I wish I could delete my former post. What an ignorant fuck I am sometimes.

Now, now....
Not ignorant. Don't beat yourself up too much. Just not totally aware of the situation would be a better way to describe it.....
I have friends who deal with their sexuality and acceptance very well, and I have friends who consider me as their only "outside" (for lack of a better term) support. One can never completely understand any individual's situation until you've walked a mile in their shoes, and that's pretty hard to do, considering the nuances would be missing....
On a side note, I'd never ask any of my "gay" friends to take a cure pill. I love them for who they are, not their sexuality.

No worries, COLJohn! We're all of us ignorant fucks sometimes. It's part of the human condition I believe PLUS you are WANTING to understand, which puts you far ahead of many!

I'm also really glad to experience that I have gotten my points across; this is surely a matter that deserves some real attention!

COLJohn--you are beating yourself up for no reason. You are a thoughtful person who seeks information. I love that about you!

Tygrrr--thanks for elucidating the situation.

As a minority within a minority, I feel the social stigmas two-fold. I was already treated differently before I embraced my orientation and, now, some of the people/community that once embraced me, will/have disown(ed) me (with a portion of other communities now embracing me).

I feel fortunate that I have the emotional, financial and intellectual capapacity and some supports to avail myself to some of the resources that escape many of my gay brethren. Sad in the end that so many suffer so needlessly.

What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, but as Lex points outs, it does kill us with alarming frequency. Most sexually conforming individuals go through horrendous rites of passage, though those are not a walk in the park for almost anyone anymore. I'll skip the tales of my own tortured path to self-acceptance, but let me just say that it actually started with a question not unlike the thread title here.

I agree with Tygrrr that there is likely NOT a genetic component to sexuality, though there is much evidence recently that there is a biological one. I've posted a bit about that on the unfortunately named Big Steaming Pile thread. (That is, sexuality is not chosen but determined, but the determining mechanism is still unclear. It does not appear to be genetic, however.)

Can't say that ignornace is a bad thing, unless one is determinedly so. ColJohn, it seems to me that you have always shown remarkable openess and gay-friendliness. I appreciate your willingness to learn.

Doc

Never. Ever. In. My. Fucking. Life.
Would you look at me?
My lips, mouth and ass are designed to take cock.
I could never waste myself on a woman.

I'm glad and not surprised at all, that the large majority of the gays here finds this idea repulsive.
But whoever voted yes anyway; boo to you!! You and me in private for half an hour; I'll give you a taste of my cure for doubtfulness.

It's encouraging to see someone as young as you are who willingly stands by his sexuality so adamantly and professes it with such unabashed conviction.

(100% gay as you are I'd encourage you not to consider women a 'waste' sexually.... much as I understand the level of your conviction)