No More Crap Pm's, You C***s!!

Madame_zora, sares and now Heather LouAnna have signatures, warning guys not to abuse the private message function.

The problem has clearly reached the limit of their tolerance, is it just a matter of time before all the women have those messages in their signatures?

Explain to us what you have received and why it pissed you off so much. What are the acceptable PMs that you enjoy receiving?

Let all that anger out!!

hey dongalong...

t'ain't just limited to the women my man!!

I know, for certain, that two of them have explained until they are just sick of explaining, so I'll give a couple of hints...

PMs saying something to the effect of "Wow, nice tits. Wanna fuck?" just get annoying after a while.

"Wanna cam sometime and we can cum together?" gets old. "Want pix of my cock" gets old. "My cock would look great between your tits" gets old. "Wanna get together sometime and fuck?" gets old. After a while, everything gets old, and they just don't want to hear ANYTHING from someone they don't know. Because they are all the same.

What is acceptable? Get to know them IN PUBLIC, ON THE BOARD. After a while, ask them IN PUBLIC, ON THE BOARD for permission to send a PM - they will either say yes or they will say no. And if you do get permission, and send a PM, don't send one saying "Nice tits, wanna fuck?"

Does that about cover it, ladies? By the way, Jana, nice tits... wanna fuck?

no one has been impolite to me actually. and I am not shy about looking at galleries on my own time, and my husband doesn't mind me posting here or perusing the "merchandise" lol. (especially because, nice as the cocks are, I still like his the best!)

HOWEVER I believe in the golden rule. and if my husband was on a board with a high female population and he was chatting privately with them about their nude pictures, it would make me uncomfortable. therefore I don't want to get into even a non-sexual private discussion of a man's bits and pieces... and certainly not his turn ons or sexual preferences.

in public on the board it's a different story. and I often read my hub threads if he's interested. and he knows exactly what PMs I get and how I respond to them.

since putting up my sig everyone has been very decent. most guys are just trying to get some action, and that does not insult me. so it's just a public service announcement that I'm unavailable.

DC DEEP, I want to hear from the receiver's point of view, male or female.

What are the most ridiculous ones they have received?

What they would like to do the the sender! and what they really think of him.

Singer/songwrite, Bobby McFerrin, wrote a song some years back that we're all famliar with: Don't Worry Be Happy. The song became so popular and so annoying to him that he refuses to play it anymore. He has other songs that he can perform, but almost every show he'd play, some idiot in the crowd would scream out for him to play the one hit wonder that originally launched him into stardom. It drove him nuts.

This shit works the same way. I do not want to hear compliments anymore.


I'm on two adult sites: this board and AdultFriendFinder. I really enjoy this site much more, because there's more room to talk and toe the water. In my inbox on AFF, I've presently over 300 messages even though the get deleted automatically after a period of time. I do not want to hear compliments.

If you're one of the gentlemen who've been sending me message after message, here's some guidelines for you. (Taken from my AFF profile)

The following are words I do not want to hear in a message:
"You're hot" or "You're gorgeous"
*(Keep the flattery to yourself. I don't want to hear it. Consider what you're getting into almost like a business transaction between two equals. Talk to me like I'm human.)

"You wont be sorry." or "I can give you a great shopping spree tomorrow."
*(Do not promise me anything, this isn't that type of business transaction, asshole.)

"I'm an young attractive guy."
*(Don't tell me what you are as far as looks are concerned. I'll be the judge of that.)

"I was just browsing and I found your profile and I liked what I read so now I'm messaging you blah blah fuckity blah blah."
*(I don't want to hear the redundant story of how you came across me. It's obvious you bumped into my ad, otherwise you wouldn't be messaging me.

"I'll be in Austin this weekend. I'm staying at such and such hotel."
*(This is so hilarious. If you're telling me this, I'm going to assume that you live here in Austin and you're married. You're going to touch base with me about meeting, then go rent the room so you can cheat on your wife. Be honest, please.)

*It's my firm opinion that anyone who freely gives out their phone number is stepping over the line, so don't bother.

*You must be able to hold a conversation with me online using some sort of instant messaging application. This means you need to be able to type at least 6000 key strokes an hour). We aren't going to get along if I'm a bigger computer nerd than you. Trust me on that.


Also.........messaging me saying "I don't want to offend you, BUT YOU'RE HOT!" just sounds fucking stupid. Come up with something ELSE TO SAY.

Thanks, sares, that's a point I had not seen much of, most of the other ladies were just simply inundated with propositions.

May I PM you about a related topic?

I'm glad that you got all that out Heather LouAnna!
I find your posts hilarious...OOPS! I just paid you a compliment

OH....SWEETHEART...I've a name for these fellows. I call them collectively Shmobody. (Here comes the flood) These are not just from this site:

*~*AdultFriendFinder*~*
"Just call to let you know that your pics are smoking hot. I might not be the person your looking for but I'll let you decide that. . I'll send you the only pic i have of me on my comp. just don't let it scare you away. I don't bite, well not to hard. Hope to hear from you soon."

This is the image he sent me. WTF?!?! Where's fucking Waldo?!

*~*LPSG.ORG*~*
What do you think to mine.
I am 27 ys. and small I know.
Coming from Germany.

I was dumped by 3 girlfriends now for beeing too small.
In one night stands I was forced to give oral because the girls were disapointed about my length.

The facts:
length 4.25 by 3.75
flaccid: 1-1.25

What do you think?

What is the minimum you would accept?

*~*Myspace*~*
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jeremy
Date: Jul 5, 2006 8:47 PM

you got nice lips!

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: BradHollister
Date: Jul 5, 2006 8:53 PM

Has anyone ever caught you before, Heather?!?Or do you not often do that, typically?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: jack
Date: Jul 5, 2006 8:58 PM

wow that pic is hot........ im sure you know which one im talking about.. will you please watch me on my cam?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Richard
Date: Jul 5, 2006 9:05 PM

Very sexy, would love to see more of you

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: james
Date: Jul 5, 2006 10:15 PM

my name is jamie if interested email me back.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Scott
Date: Jul 6, 2006 8:19 AM

hello how are you cool pics

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Brian
Date: Jul 6, 2006 9:43 AM

dam you are sexy!!!! :)

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: BenjeBoyHeavey
Date: Jul 6, 2006 9:46 AM

do you have msn if you do add me please benjeboyheavey@hotmail.com

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Auztexlatinmale3
Date: Jul 6, 2006 9:48 AM

Hey whats up? I just saw your profile and i am very interested. I am a 25yr old very attractive hispanic male in north austin. i Stand about 5'8 in height, weigh 180lbs, with a musclar build. I am looking for some sexual fun. I am very wild and very open minded and would love to please your every sexual desire. let me know if you have any interest. Thanks! ~Criz~

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jesus
Date: Jul 6, 2006 9:53 AM

Mind if I cum on your chest?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Suresh Nair
Date: Jul 6, 2006 9:57 AM

why do u need a dildo use me instead

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: rex
Date: Jul 6, 2006 10:00 AM

You look like trouble:) Send me a message sometime sweetie.

Rex

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Geoff
Date: Jun 27, 2006 12:07 PM

Would you fart on my face if I begged you to? Please.


So I'm honest with him. lol

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Heather LouAnna
Date: Jun 27, 2006 3:36 PM

Probably. That is, if I had one a-brewin'. I can't just fart on command, y'know. A little liquor beforehand would certainly move things along quicker.

What an odd question.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Geoff
Date: Jun 27, 2006 12:38 PM

i believe that pretty girls like you deserve to fart on the faces of guys like me.

ooooooooooooookkkkkkkkkk

*~*AdultFriendFinder*~*

$$$ 4U - TexasLifestyle at the Y dot com
512-669-2770 $$$ 4U
I have no problem giving $$$ for nice young poon!
Call me!

512-669-2770
___________________________________________
My retort:

Die.
___________________________________________
Shmobody writes again:
$1500.00 cash for a full weekend of whatever I want which does not include pain or anything real crazy
___________________________________________



This guy has been stalking me online for months. I've never once replied to him. About once a month, he'll send me another friend request.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Richie
Date: Jun 13, 2006 9:39 AM

so your a swinger and a hottie!! so how does a man get you to swing his way?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Richie
Date: Jun 14, 2006 5:50 PM

still looking to get on your good side to see wzup? i like your profile some i know, some i don't but its alot to take in all at once, lol. i bet you have a wild personality. just by going from you page and your many picks.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Richie
Date: Jun 15, 2006 7:00 AM

just so you know i do completly understand and would like to get to know you better. i think your great and it would give me a great reason to go to Austin. if sex happens well im not going to say no but ..... if not i just would love to get to know you and become friends. i hope your interested and not scared off.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Richie
Date: Jun 15, 2006 7:58 AM

wow you have alot of friends!! iguess your very important person!! just checking out your site. see if i can get to know alittle more about ya. have to say im impressed on how bold ya are.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Richie
Date: Jun 15, 2006 7:18 PM

hey heather well i see you read my message? what do you think? well i have to go to work now. hopfully ill here from ya soon. have a terrific day and will see wzup.....

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Richie
Date: Jun 17, 2006 8:41 AM

your killing me hot stuff... whats on your mind? any big plans this weekend? (see you can't say im not trying, lol)

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Richie
Date: Jun 18, 2006 5:30 AM

would love to read your new blog but you have to add me in order for me to see it......

Drum roll, please!
This one is by far the strangest I've ever gotten:

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: ....
Date: May 28, 2006 11:32 PM

Whoa!!! You're HOT!!!

I saw your profile and I know this may sound crazy, but you look like the kinda gal that might be interested in working with me on my next car crushing video.

I'm looking for a gal willing to drive a truck over me.

If you want to learn more about what i'm offering, let me know. Essentially i'm paying $25,000 cash, paying all expenses and you can even bring a friend with you to the set location.

If you want to see pictures and learn more, I also have a website at car crushing


Perhaps we can chat over yahoo, msn or aol to discuss the script, legalities, set location, expenses etc.

would love to hear from you :)

Jon

It's one thing to compliment my personality, it's another to compliment my looks...over...and over...and over..

I always knew that guy was a total perv.

lol, if we can discuss it in thread I'd really prefer it. but if not I will look at my PMs later.

(this isn't actually a privacy thing... but I come to boards for public communal conversation... going to PM is basically e-mailing...)

Do you feel better know after letting off all that steam?

*shrug* I post the Shmobody's regularly in my myspace blog. It doesn't feel any different and it certainly doesn't stop the messages....

so, no.