What ticks you off in a porn?

I hate it when the camera guy sets the camera up for a close-up of the genitalia and takes a lunch break. Seriously, I want to see boobs and legs and lips and... everything! Not just genitalia.

Also, I hate it when the women are still half-dressed all the time. Top down, skirt up, bra still on but boobs out, panties just pulled out of the way... usually all of the above.

Oh, and when a guy tries to come on the chicks face from the side, which always means that all the blasts miss her by two feet and she only gets some dribble on her face. If you're going to do it, do it right, otherwise don't bother. I like watching a girl getting a facial, but I'd rather see it on her boobs than wasted due to incompetence.

Let's see, anything else? Ah, yes: Fuck twister. Where the actors position their hands and legs in incredibly awkward positions just so the camera can get a good close-up shot of the genitalia, which again leads us to the aforementioned lunch hour problem.

There should be more kissing in porn, too.

That's it for now.

No, there's another pet peeve of mine: I hate it when directors think they are artists and

• film some shots in black and white
• switch back and forth between two different couples
• switch between shots extremely slowly so you see both shots at the same time for about 30 seconds (don't know the technical term in english)

1. Loud and continuous moaning
2. Never showing males face and/or body
3. Spitting for lubrication
4. No emotions, no foreplay is a turnoff