" Kimiquiesha's Wedding "

There, there, it was all a bad dream. I am not going anywhere. I have waited this long I suppose I can wait a bit longer. I know how hard you have been working...when you get home, I will have a nice dinner waiting for you and a long, relaxing bath and backrub.... I've even sent the kids over to Lex and Matt's for the evening....

*sits on couch eating popcorn and watching Trick with Matt-Matt*

*leaves a message on Kim's home phone*

Hey GUUUUURL,

Matt-Matt and I are watching one of our favorite DVDs and don't worry for a second about Quantrell and Co-Co. They have been angelic today.

Who knew that the way to get the kids to behave was to let them tie each other up with our chains and whips and rock each other to sleep in the sling? Maybe we should open up a new baby-sitter service. We can call it "Dungeons and Daddies!!"

I heard there was MEGA drama with SexyCobra trying to make you a runaway bride. He must not know about them southern men and how they can make shit (and people) disappear.

I can't wait to get ALL the scoop when we drop the kids off tomorrow.

Should be outRAGEous. See you soon, Sis!

Love ya!

*click*

Lex - just don't tell her about the eye-dropper I used to spike the koolaid with a just a touch of kiddie tylenol.

I do love Trick, btw.

Lex,

Baby, you are the best. Thank you so much for taking the kids on at such short notice. I know you two are still in the honeymoon phase, but I do thank you for your sacrifice. Not meaning to be indelicate, but I hope those warm compresses and inflatable cushions are working well for you and Matthew. Often our eyes are much larger than our... well you get the idea. By the way, Monty was so much more relaxed when he came home after your two day spree. He has been rather tense lately with all of the construction going on (At church and at home)he has barely had a moment for his own needs to be met.
As for Dungeons and Daddies, I think it is a wonderful idea. I am sure Q and Coco felt right at home. They are well accustomed to restraint wear .They have leashes and collars here at home. Of course, theirs are madras and polka dot courtesy of Kate Spade, but they do the job....
Yes, I was over whelmed and so flattered by Sexy's bid for me, but as you know Mont Mont is not one to be crossed, so I thought it best to let him down easy for his own preservation....
Well, I had better check the food and make sure everything is just so for the conquering hero....As you well know, a little "f" and "f" are the best medicine for what ails . Or maybe not , eh?

I knew I married an incredible man.

Kim--don't sweat it--not even for a second.

Awwww.....a big thank you to my sweetums and my two favorite "uncles" for helping make this stressful time bearable. In just a few weeks the new church will be ready for the mega-wedding of the century. Kimmy will be a blushing bride as she marches down the aisle of the new cathedral.

Then comes the fun part--the reception and the honeymoon.

Well, if nothing else, my unsuccessful bid may have helped rekindle the flames between the soon-to-be-wed, so all that drama was not in vain.

I do take offense to this, however:

Actually, this offends all Pisces males - our honor is at stake! A show of "arms" is in order...

Piscies don't have 'arms'... a show of fins..maybe.

My Dear Monsieur Poisson,

I am terribly sorry to have caused such a mortal injury to your creolized gallic pride. A duel at sunrise with a "femme enceinte" would be less than fair and endangering the death of not one, but three persons.Or could you be possibly entertaining the idea of challenging my fiance? What would be your weapons of choice, Scimitars? I did give pause when writing it. I was desperate and overwhelmed by my even momentary consideration of leaving it all to try life as one of "Les Sirenes". Please accept my apology for speaking from limited and perhaps exceptional experience of PIscean Males. One day I may come to regret the road not travelled ,but for now I continue on the course as it has been set....

Dearest one,

I am more than happy to lighten your load whenever possible. I too count the days hours and minutes till I am able to glide down the aisle ( As any respectable barge is wont to do...) on the arm of my beloved. I tingle with anticipation or at least I think it is anticipation.... LEX! Now what exactly did you and Matt Matt do on that boys night out with Mont Mont? I thought you just went to see a Sumo wrestling match....

Actually, you are supposed to say:

(quote ME)

"Honey, I've been waiting ALL MY LIFE to have you!

My mouth, and ass are TWITCHING with anticipation!!"


At least, THAT is what I said to my beloved Matt Matt...




and Sorceror...




and Vinny S...




and Hung Muscle... WAIT...


okay--leaving now!

Lex, Monty, and Matt ,


This tingly fresh feeling better be anticipation or hormonal changes or one or all of you have a lot of explaining to do...

yes, outrageous

I think that is what "Break up" means... "you ain't gonna get it, cuz you ain't got it!"

C'mon don't tell me you've never had "break-up sex"? You know, sex that says: I'm gonna miss you, but not what lies beneath.

Am I the only one that's experienced this phenomenon?