why do jerks and bad asses get all

I agree with a lot of what's been said. In addition, if you're a person who has self-esteem issues, you might subconsciously look for someone who treats you like you believe you deserve to be treated (badly). In that scenario, a guy who's nice, attentive and trying to win your favor seems unappealing. After all, the subconscious thinking goes, if he likes someone like me, there must be something wrong with him!

Wow. Conversely, there are those that are humble and don't give themselves the right to be as choosy as this. Someone like this, in my mind, would most likely be the common denominator in failed relationships. It's too bad more people don't boil down their preferences to a select, and important, few.

Drawing on my fine command of the language, I said nothing.

But I did smile and give my hips a shake.

Because it's pretentious to think that your advice applies to him, or that such advice even works in finding 'true love'. I didn't give advice because I try to limit the amount of bullshit I spew. If we think about it a little more, we are more likely to find solutions, not more problems.

I am glad that you didn't think that I was being "self indulgent". I was being honest in what I was saying regarding HungShyMan's dilemma. I didn't have any ulterior motives. I was trying to help the guy out. If I went into detail, it was for clarification. Sometimes I have to write in detail so people can really understand where I am coming from.

If you have a problem with me and with what I've said, that's your problem. That problem isn't the topic of this thread.

That is the kind of thinking that leads to the most misguided of advice. "You always have to optimistic and positive"? And you became the bottom line on how to approach life, when? I'm sure different situations require different approaches. Do you now understand what I meant by pretense?

You don't need to tell me what I thought. I didn't give any advice precisely for the reasons stated above. I think that you shouldn't give advice because, as you proved to me and others, it is inflated, absolute, and wrong.

Of course I think you're not intelligent, but it should make you feel better that neither is anyone else. Both in relative and absolute terms, no human is intelligent.

That is the limit of the personal attacks I'm going to do on this thread. If you want to continue being a spaz, be my guest. You could also PM me.

What sexual revolution was that? Did I miss something?

To boil that down to an even simpler formula:

Self esteem is sexy.

For both men and women.

Like I said before, your problem with the advice I gave--isn't the topic of this thread. I think that you are dead wrong about your assumptions on intelligences of people. Everybody has some degree of intelligence. Human beings aren't perfect but we are smart in varying degrees.

You can think what you want about my intelligence.

Nick, Why would I need to PM you for?

It's risky to make generalisations; but my guess is that women, like men, vary enormously in the types of people they are attracted to. Fortunately.

But I think in general there is no problem in being a nice guy, but every problem in boring predictability.

No need for dominating aggressive behaviour, but every reason to keep one step ahead. Never let her think she's got you all worked out, or indeed, that she is the only thing in your life (even if perhaps you think she is). A well rounded man with a crowded diary etc. etc. who keeps her guessing a bit will keep her interest piqued a lot longer than someone who never lets her alone.

"In one sentence: I like confidence, but I dislike egomaniacs/assholes and guys who are so aloof and smug they think nobody can keep up with them.

I love the quiet, determined confidence. Guys bearing it attract me almost magically, I think it's wonderful to see someone so rested and settled. Definitely it's more attractive than the drama kings who cause a big racket around themselves wherever they go. My experience is that behind their masquerade, they aren't half the man they pretend to be, and there's definitely a lot of man needed to attract me. Not only between the legs.

However, the dislike comes again if the "quiet confidence" turns into this semi-autistic form, where guys become indifferent towards their surrounding"


I'm so old, I remember when dating was as simple as whether you liked the other person and thought he/she was cute....

So how do you get more than one quote box in a reply?

I'm working on it.