Monogamy

At the moment i am monogomus but it isnt a real 'relationship' in standard terms we have either, we both know its only fun and nothing serious but arent sleeping with other people.

But usually i am faitful to my partners and wouldnt condiser sleeping around. There are to many diseases and its much less comlicated to break it off in the begining anyway.

I am, at the same time, happy for you and jealous of your satisfying relationship. Until my turn comes, I'll just cum where I can and when I can.

It is a lot about finding the right person, but it's also about being the right person. At the end of the day, selfish sex might lead to the right orgasm, but it's never going to be fulfilling sex. When both parties are trying to make the other feel good, rather than just concentrating on themselves, it leads to a much more fulfilling and bonding experience. I've been in relationships before were this wasn't the case, and the relationships didn't end because of the bad sex, but rather what happened in the bedroom reflected how we viewed the relationship outside of the bedroom. If someone's just looking out for themselves and what they can get out of the relationship, rather than what they can bring it and how they can look out for their partner, that will be clearly visible in the bedroom.

It seems to happen when you least expect it. I was lonely and ready to give into permenent slutdom when my bf came along. He was worth the wait.

Very true.

Someone please help me find a partner just like Irvy !

I found one when I was ready. The kicker is you have to be ready to take damn good care of them and be as good to them as they are to you. I've already had 2 slutty ex boyfriends. My partner is awesome. No worries when I leave town, he always treats me with respect and dignity. He's great in bed, cute and has a big dick. Most of all, he makes me laugh.

does it mean that one really and truly loves the other, so he or she stops playing around outside ?
I am just curious about you guys opinions

Funny that some of the posts say something to the effect of "I love my partner very much, so we are very monogamous."

My partner and I are very much in love, but we are not sexually exclusive. Our two rules are: it has to be honest, and it has to be safe.

We each have some interests that the other does not share, so we understand that an occasional 3rd, or sex outside the relationship, is actually healthy for us.

There is no jealously involved, and there is no lying/sneaking/cheating involved.

Not at all. It depends how the person is "built". Some separate sex and love without a second thought. The important part is that both partners agree to it.

I didn't say that.

Monogamy is hardly a superior state of being, and hardly a paradigm for a relationship. To me, it is incredibly unnatural and inorganic.

You can absolutely feel the kind of love for another person (as described here by the mono-guys) and still have sex with others.

You can, I can't and that's the point I've been trying to make.

That's true. But if one cannot agree, so how could he accept it? Because now I am afraid that I am going to fall into this situation .It isn't about love and understanding but also how to win jealousy and this sort (I suppose) ?!?!

it is always a conflict between freedom and commitment in any relationship.

Agree with you, Sorcerer. It's as individual as the people on this board. There can't be any absolutes on this subject.

My partner and I discuss this topic weekly.

What exactly constitutes monogamy? Or, flip it: what would monogamous couples consider "cheating"? Jerking off with other guys in the sauna of the gym? Kissing another guy? Flirting with someone on the Internet? Checking out pictures of naked guys on LPSG?

That's where I would always fall short. If I believed that a relationship demanded mongamy, an elevated spiritual level of love, then I would not be able to flirt with other guys.