I guarantee that if I were to sing to you Nony, you'd either bust out laughing or you'd be holding your ears and trying to drown me out with your screams. :D

Ten Top Signs You Can't Carry A Tune:

10. Local WildLife enthusiasts mistake you for a male Howler Monkey seeking a mate.

9. You were forbidden to sing at a funeral, for fear you would wake the dead.

8. The preacher announces that all hymns are cancelled because the organ is broken when he sees you sitting in the front pew.

7. Last year when you started singing at Sea World, Shamoo went into heat.

6. Your housemates rush to the TV thinking that they hear a test of "The Emergency Broadcast System."

5. Your modem handshakes to your rendition of Yankee Doodle.

4. Four out of five people would rather listen to Al Sharpton comb his hair.

3. At the ball park, the announcer specifically asks you not to join in singing Take Me Out To the Ballgame.

2. The local airport has filed a complaint about the noise.

1. Nony can't think of anything nice to say about your voice.

Pecker

(Shouldn't crematoria give discounts for burn victims?)