GreenEyes: Ok I wanted to give this topic some time but unfortunately I haven't had much time lately.

I truly understand wanting to abstain from sex until it is with the person you marry. *I was like that in my youth. *Somewhere along the line I lost my virginity to my first love right before I turned 20. *Both of us at such a young age were talking marriage and I felt in my heart that he would be the one that I would spend the rest of my life with. *Well, that didn't happen. *Three years, give or take we broke up.

After that break up I became a born again virgin sort to speak. *Fell into several monogomous relationships (obviously at different times) where I felt they could be the ones. *Each relationship was different but each one could have been minni marriages without the ceromonies and that piece of paper. *I did love each one in my own way but looking back I do not think I was ever in that all powering "in love" with any of them specifically. *Sure I thought I was at times but after a while poof I got over them.

When I reached 30 and I was still single something overcame me with empowerment. *I became and no offense men like a stereotypical way a man thinks. *To see sex as only sex and nothing more. * I think that was the first time in my life I started to have one nighters. *

Trust me in this different men do perform differently and some have similiar likes while others do not. *Again in a relationship I would hope that both parties involved are open to learn what their partners enjoy and are willing to explore what the other is into without crossing over any lines.

Now at 37 and yearning to be in a monogomous relationship I look back and realized I should have taken advantage of my sexuality. *There is nothing wrong with a woman having sex just as well as there is nothing wrong with a man. *I suppose if I knew at an earlier age I would have been single at this age I would have utilized my sexuality more. *Again it all depends on the adults and the situation. *

Realize I am not suggesting that anybody goes out and loose their virginity or become sexually crazy. *Please under no circumstances say read what Green Eyes wrote and have sex with me. *No matter what making love is far different than having sex. *It is more intense when feelings are involved. *At the same token it can be very erotic when no feelings are involved also, however the next day it will be lonely. *

I do commend those that are waiting. *I know I tried to abstain when I was younger and several times in my 20's by being the good girl. *It is something special to give to another and make sure it is the right person you give it to be it marriage or plain and simple your first love. *

First loves are the most beautiful thing out there but it is also one of the hardest things to hold on to. *I have talked to too many people that said that their partner was their only one and they feel that they missed out on things. *Meanwhile I am envious of them for they were able to keep that love and some just need to find their way back to it. *The grass is always greener. *

OK I rambled enough and I hope some of it makes sense to those out there. *It all depends on what is going to make YOU happy in the long run. *To wait or not to. *Whatever you decide it is your decision and that is a good thing that you can decide for yourself.