Mad at myself

Slam, you're a winner. The fact that you're so concerned about not hurting your family & friends proves one thing - you're a good guy, no matter who you're attracted to. I find it SOOOO sad/unfortunate that there are those who would judge you solely by your sexual preference & not take the time to see the content of your character. Matt, I read you advice & I think you're a great guy too. All of you are. This was really sweet.

Thanks, I think there's a lot of complaining around here sometimes about people not getting "support" but I actually see quite a few people asking sincere and respectful questions and getting some truly good ideas in response.

Good luck Slam. And hey, being bi can be a big positive too.

Hmmm. I think I'm kinda in the same boat. I feel very attracted to more women than men, but I often find the male body more interesting. I feel straight, think I might be a little bi, and haven't done anything about it. I feel equal amounts of affection towards all my friends, male or female. But occasionally, I feel, I don't know. But I think we are kind of on the same plane...

Good luck buddy!!! :D:D:D:D

Oh, and don't rush it! Jut like what everyone else says! It will come, sometime soon... Just hold on!

Though I agree with Lex and others that your sex life is your own private business, I get where you're coming from on this one.

I came out to my close family and friends before I actually had sex with a man. I didn't need their blessing, or even their approval. But talking about it with the people close to me made it feel unremarkable; more normal. In my heart, it really helped me de-stigmatise the whole thing.

If you're close to someone, it doesn't mean that you're obliged to share everything about your personal life. But if offered, it can strengthen the bond of friendship and family. Families that CAN'T discuss sexual matters are pretty sick, in my experience. Coming out actually helped my family to grow.

But beware. Close friends, if they know you're struggling with these issues, might try to help. You know..."There's this gay guy at work, perhaps you might like to meet him..."

Resist strenuously. That really is an invasion of your privacy.

Sidebar story: Two of my closest friends--I'm godfather to one of their children and was Best Man at their wedding--took me on as a cause when I came out to them. They own a small ad agency and, for a time, every new art director they employed seemed to be gay. This stopped when one of these young men and I had a fling. My friends had decided to fire him, and (illegally, I'm sure) shared his confidential perfomance review with me, hoping his departure wouldn't upset our relationship. Several bottles of wine later, I had shared my own confidential performance review, and he ended up losing two positions at once. No matchmaking since.

Loved Ones and emotional support mix nicely. Family and friends don't mix well with your sex life, and you'll need to find some space, separate from them, to explore your sexuality.