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Originally Posted by Sean O. Haven't seen this come up on the boards, but wondering if anyone has had a similar problem, and how you may have dealt with it.
My son is 13, turning 14 in a few weeks. We shower together after swimming at the gym, and on weekends when we go out on my father-in-law's sailboat (the bathroom at the marina has a small group shower). Over the last few months, I've caught my son staring at my equipment in the shower. After the first couple of times, I explained to him that it's not polite, and asked him if he had questions or wanted to talk about anything, but he clammed up. It stopped for a couple of weeks, but then started up again. I haven't noticed this behavior with any other adults in the shower, so I'm thinking it may be because of my size.
At this point I'm thinking I will stop showering with him, but I will still have a couple of concerns - first, that is only addressing the short-term issue and doesn't get him to open up about why he's staring; and second, I'm hesitant to send him in the showers at the marina alone, because you never know who may be lurking. I might be paranoid about the second concern, but I know that won't leave my mind.
Has anyone else encountered a similar situation? Is there a better way for me to approach this, other than how I've tried? Thanks. |
What a wonderful relationship you have with your son. Don't blow it. I suggest that you do the opposite. Next time it is just the two of you, jjust delieberately take your time and let him stare until he has seen all he wants to see. If you are partialy hiding yourself. he is still trying to see your package to see what he will look like. So let him look until his curiosity is satisfied.
Ignore the stares completely, it will go away in time. The more you push it the worse it will be. Leave it alone.
It wouldn't be inappropraite if you had a boner and he saw it as long as it was just incidental. If his staring causing that to happen. just ignore it.
And yes talk about how to behave around strangers in the showers. He will need to know this.
Also talk about all isuses, penis size at different ages, average penis size. If he isn't endowed like you are, he will need nots of confidence buidling from you. But as some one else suggested a long car drive is a wondreful time to do that. No distractions and plenty of time and no exit stregy for him either of you once the conversations begin.
You are a blessed dad and don't realize it. Most dads would give their eye teeth to be showering with a son at 13 and doing all the stuff you two do together. Most dads have alreay blown that closeness by the time their sons are 13. Some dads never have much of a relationship of all after age 11 or so if they have one then.
My sons are grown. I became too modest too soon. How I would gladly go back in time and do all those things you two do together and taking showers with them and them staring would be a small price for me to pay. And I wouldn't care how many guys came in just to have the oppuortuniity to have that closeness with my sons. Pennies on the dollar for the dividends in what a wonderful relationship you can have with your son now and as long as you both live.
