Son's Curiousity

Many great responses here...give your son as much information as he wants and some that he doesn't want-- you can never be TOO informed

I dont know but to me, at 13. being curious about sexual development and what the later teen years will bring is natural.
Maybe you are the first adult that he has seen nude and feels comfortable looking at instead of just glancing. Maybe he wonders if he will look like you especially if you are hung.

I say let him look and just carry on with your shower routine.

I also think that you could start a talk with " Im sure your'e wondering about your development" then you could go in to some details about yourself, the differences between you both at this stage and when you started to mature. You could go into whatever level of detail you feel he is ready for but deal with the size issue and other information even to what condoms you suggest he use.
He may be thinking holy shit am I small or is my Dad really hung to is that what I will be like someday. Who knows what goes through a 13 year old's mind.
Your'e his father and friend. Fill him in and I suspect the staring will stop.
In the talk I think you will find out why the stares.
You might caution him about how other people might interpret stares and assure him that you are the one he should come to and ask any questions.
I stared at my father any chance I got cause for quite a while cause I couldn't figure out why he looked so different (not circumcised) and it was only later that one of my friends explained. It would have prevented some stares if he had talked about the obvious differences.

I disagree, this is too confrontational and may make the kid clam up even more. He may just be curious, he may also be having uncertainties about his sexuality. The hormonal changes at puberty can create all kinds of strainge emotions and physical feelings. Young boys generally dislike and shun girls. At puberty, some eventually straight guys take longer to "like" girls, and are confused.

I agree, to a point. Since the new board doesn't show everyone's sexuality like the old one did, I can only assume (yes I know) you are predominately or exclusively heterosexual. I am sure you know from the experience here if nothing else that most gay guys are NOT child molesters. And most child molesters are NOT gay. There are however a few sicko's who might try something. It also sounds like this marina may be somewhat exclusive? Not a likely place. And one can be too careful as well, leading to a young man who has been too sheltered and isn't ready for the real world.

I think that gently reminding him that staring, under any circumstances, is rude is best while IN the showers, and then asking why he stares in the privacy of the car afterwards is the best way. Perhaps you could start out by saying something about your "gift", about averages, about puberty, early and late bloomers. Just try not to be too confrontational, young men that age usually begin to assert themselves against confrontation, and it could drive a wedge between you for a long time.

A lot of great stuff, I've read. I just wanted to reiterate the importance that you have at this stage, Sean. Your son is telling you nonverbally that he needs to get this sex stuff kinda sorted out, and trusting you as his male role model, he wants you to give him some answers. He clams up when pressured, but if offered a, "Hey champ, let's sit down man to man and talk..." he might be more amenable to the conversation. Don't expect him to spit out every single question. He probably won't. This is a gradual process. Just begin by letting him know you're there to talk. The next time he looks at your rod, use it as a teaching tool about shower etiquette (for sure), but also acknowledge that his curiosity is okay too.

The endowment talk is a whole different story. I don't know how comfortable or appropriate it would be to share your dimensions, honestly. I think it's better to stick to some facts. His body is changing and he's noticing. He wonders what he's going to grow into, and he wonders if he's big enough just like ALL guys. It's your job to help him accept what he's got whether he's as big, will grow up to be bigger, or is just average or less in the dick department.

Either way, he's going to be showering with other man as he gets older and that's just unavoidable. Having a mature discussion about sex doesn't need to get super complicated. It's really hard because parents want to have all the answers right then and there, forgetting that puberty doesn't happen in one day. He's got quite a bit of growing to do, and he's going to need a good parent around to support him through that process.

Thanks all for your comments. I've always been very close with my son which is why his silence on this topic has me baffled. I've had all the discussions with him - the sex talk, the body changing/puberty talk, the locker room etiquette talk. The one thing I've never shared with him are my actual measurements. Someone mentioned that as possible information to share, but I've always tried to downplay size as "not a big deal", so I wouldn't want to run counter to that by saying "this is how big dad is".

Since I've figured out that I'm the focus of his attention, I suppose it shouldn't bother me much, but it does make me uncomfortable. I know I can deal with it though, and there's no harm in him looking. And while I was considering no longer showering together, I think it does make sense that I don't do anything that drastic. I don't want to make a big deal out of it.

I think my best approach at this point is to give him time until he's comfortable asking what he wants to ask, and let him know that he can ask me anything. And I'll have to learn patience, which is never my strong suit! Thanks again for all your comments, a lot of wisdom in this community.

Sean,
I applaud your concern and caring. The world needs more fathers like you! Luckily, I had one. He was open, honest, direct and always concerned and sincere. I had seen my dad nude from an early age. He wasn't a pervert, but we had showered together and I used to visit with him mornings while he showered and shaved. It was kinda' our "guy time" and he never attempted to hide his nudity and encouraged mine in the proper circumstances, nor did he avoid any questions I posed.

I do remember, at about your sons age actually feeling infatuated with my father and older males in general. I think it is a curiosity as boys begin to feel the hormonal and physical changes that begin about this age.

Please continue to be open, honest and comfortable with your son. Him staring or "examining" his nude father is normal and not something to be concerned about. It's a normal, natural part of his development...and all part of his becoming a member of the fraternity of men...which in generations past, was marked by ceremony, celebration or initiation. Love him.

Maybe size is the issue and if it is I dont think there is any contradiction in your approach to downplaying size and discussing size.
In fact I think it would be good to talk specifics and averages and leave it at that.
If he follows you size wise he will know what to expect and wont be so vulnerable to any adolescent locker room teasing and if he doesnt he will understand as you say that it is no big deal.
Cudos for wanting to sort things out. There would be a lot less hang ups if issues/perceptions were handled before they get all out of perspective.

Hey, Sean O,

Don't forget to check back and give us an update on the situation.

Handling the situation with tact, regardless if it be in the moment or after the moment, has more of a bearing on it being confrontational.

Hit him around the head and tell the little perv to stop looking at cock unless he wants to grow up to be a gay

Sean O.-

First of all, MOST guys look at other guys in the locker rooms. I know a lot of guys won't admit it, but I don't think it's wrong to check out the competition. As you said, looking doesn't hurt, unless you stare and the guy catches you... :-P

At 14 years old it's even MORE normal to look, because his body is changing and he's becoming a man. You being his father is the closest thing he has to really wonder about himself, and since you're larger than the average man down there he probably is wondering if he'll be the same. I am sure he notices other men too, and you're probably bigger than them, so that in itself is going to make him wonder why you're more endowed than all the other guys are.

I think you're doing the right thing, but I'd continue to encourage him to ask you questions about sexuality and development. I wish my dad was more open with me, but he wasn't so I figured a lot out on my own. I am sure if you approach it in a comfortable manner that eventually he'll open up to you.

Really good advice there, dude. Best I've read yet. Yeah, I think that will really help someone looking for some answers. I think someone needs to hit you on the head.

OMGLOL LYKE GUD ONEEE!!!!!!111

Jesus you're a cretin. 36 and still making crass comments like that. I pity you