Can't keep it up? :-/

I am a virgin, and I wanted to have sex, but by the time the condom was opened, he wasn't ready to make the voyage (much like the George incident on Seinfeld, actually)

Anyhow, what can I do to make it get up and stay up? I am only 20 years old, btw, so taking drugs would suck.

I am pretty sure it's just performance anxiety... how do I get rid of that?

If there was a sure fire way to get rid of performance anxiety, the medication would sell for a hefty price !!!

Look, I'm pretty sure this has happened to most guys, I wouldn't worry about it. As much as people say that sex for guys is mostly physical, the mental part of it also comes into play. I've had the same problem myself, and trust me, it does become quite embarrassing. If this guy cares about you, he'll understand , trust me he will. It's all about the confort level. I've found that a massage or a lot of foreplay does wonders for this problem. Not to mention the fact that you're a virgin man. That alone could cause this problem, because you don't know what sex is like, the feelings involved, etc. Don't worry, keep your head up !!!!

Hell, I even resorted to keeping the TV or radio on in the background to sort of have a distraction to keep my mind off sex. My girlfriend was kind of freaked out at first, but when I started having sex with her, she forgot about it in two seconds, haha.

Are you able to become aroused when you're by yourself? If so, it's likely just performance anxiety. When you're finally able to perform to the best of your abilities in bed, you'll find that your partner will be like "wow, that was awesome", haha.

Hang in there pal, things will only get better when you start feeling more comfortable around this guy, ok?

1. dont think about staying hard
2. think about something that gets you super turned on.

ahh... by "he" I was referring to my penis, not a man ;)

My partner is a woman.

Anyhow, she took it to mean that I don't find her attractive (*sigh*) so we are having a bit of a fight, and now she says she doesn't ever want to have sex yadda yadda.

as for #1 and #2, easier said than done.

I am reminded of a line from Harry Potter, "The Triwizard Tournament"

"I'm trying, but for some reason a big dragon keeps popping into my head!"

Ha, sorry pal, the same comments still apply though.

If she's that upset by it, that's not a good sign. She should be understanding.

Yeah my girlfriend is maybe upset by me not being hard at all times...although she hasn't said anything and I don't want to ask her in case she isn't bothered and I get myself in twubble hehe.

What I like to do is lie at the side of her and rub her pussy, and feel her getting really wet and moaning. That gets me rock hard, then she grabs it and plays with me while I play with her...

Also don't think about 'oh im not hard enough' or whatever, try to think how sexy the girl you're with is etc.

I agree that sex can be just as much mental for guys. Foreplay goes both ways. Not all guys can just turn-it-off-or-on like some seem to think. The only thing I can offer is to try to relax, not think about it so much, and I think it'll happen naturally. IMHO, sex isn't purely a physical act either, it is or can be just as much a mental act, if not more. The more relaxed you are and can remain, the better it usually will be and the easier it will be.

Thanks for all your comments.

I do the same thing, Paul. I love it when SHE gets pleasure, that's what turns me on the most.

I also think I might have few nerve endings, because I don't have much "feeling" on my penis, except the head.

Maybe a semi-botched circumsision? (it all looks fine though)

I also think I might have few nerve endings, because I don't have much "feeling" on my penis, except the head.

I think most of the nerve endings are at the head actually. I've also heard that guys can lose some sensation by masturbating too often. I'd assume too much sex could cause the same thing, although I personally wouldn't know with either.

Try and eat some juicy mango =P, in all seriousness, you remind me exactly of myself when I first became sexually active with women. When with women I feel this strange urgency to perform well and need constant stimulation to stay hard, I haven't been with many guys, only 1 close friend...but there was no preasure and I was hard before my pants even came out and stayed hard even after cumming.

Just relax, lay back and let the good feeling flow, and most importantly make sure your GF knows its nerves causing that and her making assumptions that you don't think shes attractive will only upset you more. Theres no magic thing you can do that'll instantly fix this problem, its only when you become comfortable with the person that you'll stay rock hard all the time.

Haha, I considered it :-P

I think she knows now that it was just performance anxiety. A friend reccomended drinking before, he said it might be physically harder to get it up, but mentally no problem at all, thus balancing it out.

I'm not a drinker normally, but she is, and I'm willing to start :)

Good idea?

Obviously, I'm not talking about getting drunk, (frankly, I've never been) but perhaps just getting a buzz?

I dunno, thoughts?

Tawxic, stop over-analyzing this (nerve-endings, alcohol, etc). The more you focus on it, the more anxious you'll be the next time at bat.

It's happened to everyone.

I go with prolonged foreplay and relaxing. Have some intense and no-time-limited naked play with your girlfriend. Make out, laugh, talk, explore each other's bodies. You'll lose inhibitions and anxiety and really make the whole experience a lot more enjoyable and memorable.

Well I know cut guys aren't as sensetive as uncut guys since with circumcised penises they get rubbed raw by boxers etc, the foreskin acts as protection. It's still uncomfortable though when my foreskin gets trapped in my zipper, or rubs against it...and usually its trapped tightly halfway down the head, from all the moving about I think. Not painful, just uncomfortable and it hinders getting another erection until I sort it out.

Anyways as for you tawxic, I find drink helps but not too much (don't overdo it). Say three or four vodka and lemonades would do the trick ;)

Or of course foreplay, you could pleasure her a lot to get you really hard...or something. Then she'd be all over you, hopefully, and willing to get you hard.