bigintn: thanks for the replies, all I know the surgery was a female problem, we are both still married and both seperated working on divorces so it's not like we are with each other every night and can experiment she has 2 kids she has to get home to, the first time we didnt have alot of time and she didnt want me to go down on her because of the time factor, I tried to go easy and as far as i know she didnt tear but like I said she doesnt blame me so I guess I shouldnt, Im new to the site so I appreciate the help any more suggestions would be great