Here's one for you:
An engineer died and went to hell. Satan said they rarely get engineers around here and asked if he could help out. The engineer had hell running at 99.999% efficiency within a month.
God noticed this and told Satan all the engineers go to heaven. Satan said this isn't fair to him since he never gets an engineer. God threatened to sue.
Satan's reply? "Where are you going to find a lawyer?" | 
