The Confusion of Being Bi-Sexual

I don't know how many folks here fall into the category of bi-sexual. This is the category that I've placed myself in. It is a confusing life that I will probably live until the day I draw my last breath.

One one hand, in my public persona, I have a wife that I have a strong emotional love and attachment to but the physical desire isn't so strong. She has both the emotional and physical desire for me AKA the total love. I love her emotionally and we are best friends and enjoy doing things together and are happy.

On the other hand, in my private little world, I have a physical need for male companionship. In seeking out "male friends", it is almost impossible to find someone who is gay and 100% +/- interested in guys who want to have strictly physical get togethers. I have no desire for emotional attachments, just satisfaction of physical desires. The overwhelming majority of out of the closet guys is that they are looking for love and are not interested in just physical satisfaction without an emotional connection.

Is there any real way to mold these worlds together?

Sure. Come clean to your wife. Look into Mixed Orientation Marriage Support groups (MOMs). You could also search online on sites like men4sex now or manhunt.net (although I would say be VERY careful).

I have a wife that I recently came out to and a new BF who I adore. It's called a CLOSED LOOP as I am not looking to run around for male intimacy. I'd much rather get all my emotional and sexual needs fulfilled by people whom I feel close and connected to. Not saying that hook-ups can't be fun--it's just that at my age I find the satisfaction from them empty and fleeting at best.

If you check closely, there are a lot of recent threads by people like me and others--who have struggled with being bi and finally found a way to accept themselves and do the things necessary (for each individual) to feel complete.


Take a long hard look inside yourself and listen to your heart. Your inner voice is right 99.9% of the time. (IMHO)

I don't know that much about bisexuality,but I think it would be hard to just have sex with any one for a long period of time, and not have some emotional feelings for them, girl or guy. I also think that the need for the physical satisfaction has some emotional components in it. Just my opinion. I guess people do have friends for just sex but I don't know any of them.

Well, you are clearly lying to yourself.

You say you are emotionally attached to your wife, but physically you feel like you need a guy. However, you say that many gay guys want more than just sex so is leaves you in a tough situation.
Personally, I think you are denying the fact that you could very well be attached emotionally to a guy as well. Of course there are gay guys that want purley sex..I would actually argue the opposite..that most gay guys want sex and thats all. Thats my experience anyways. I have been offered sex many more time (just sex) then offers from guys who were looking for.
I think the reason you say that there aren't any guys that just want sex is because you want us to say that maybe instead of just looking for sex, you should look into an emotional relationship with a guy as well.
So, I'll tell you..try it, and dont feel bad about it.

You are married though, I think you have to tell your wife these feelings and not do anything without her knowning.

I pretty much agree with woskxn...I really think being bi-sexual can be really hard...I mean if you are attached to both sexes it gets really complicated and can be emotionally draining...Good luck though...But I think as hard as it might be - you need to let your wife know how you are feeling if you hook up w/a guy...It would not be fair for her...