Back off, get your own Surfer

Mindseye brings up some very good points. Even though it might be legal, you probably don't want to jeopardize him getting kicked out of his home or anything like that.

I know the concerns about chris' situation are all well-meaning, and I have to admit I dont know these guys personally, but Nix sounds too mature to jeopardize chris' family life.
I think a relationship is cool once the family settles down, though that will take time and effort. And (obviously) chris needs to be able to finish school and finish growing up at his own pace, but as long as that can happen, a relationship wont hurt anyone.
Call me a dreamer, but I think that at their ages, time is on their side.

BTW - to chris and nix: I dont mean for it to sound like Im dissecting your lives. Im a big believer in freedoms of choice and I only want to help out a bit, not push anything on you guys.

Yer totally right.

Adding my two cents.

GO SLOW SLOW SLOW.

Even if you both were in your 30s, there is no reason to rush. Hang out, be friends and get to know one another. It'll solve alot of problems, including legal ones.

I killed a relationship in the past by moving too quickly. We moved in together after dating for a month. The lifestyle differences were too much to overcome that fast, and the "marriage" died after a year. Don't repeat my mistake. ;)

Best wishes to you both. You both seem very sweet.

About the law, it says:

It specifies what is considered "sexual" and ages, but it does not specifically target sexes.

So I think it is probably A-ok by the letter of the law once he is 16. And by the time you are 24, Nix, Chris will be 19, and hence, above the age of consent, so it will still be legal then.

And Mindseye's post was very wel lthought out, and I salute him. :)

That would be so fucked if it's different for same sex couples. That's total discrimination.

Yeah these guys bought up some good points about making waves w/his family life...But taking it slow sounds like some good advice...His mum is just trying to protect him...And he is at that age - I know for me when I was that age - that I was so pissed off w/mum when I didn't get me way - like going out w/friends she didn't think was appropriate...Now that I am older - I now know that she had my best interest at heart...

Sweet Caroline:
And this would surprise you because........ Not trying to be cynical here, I believe we'll see the day when our rights are finally upheld, I just don't see it happening any time soon. Given the current Administrations "ideals" not to mention the referendum the American people gave in the last election on the Gay Marriage bills in the states I think we've still got a looong road ahead of us.

I'm not trying to start an off topic politcal discussion here, I'm just hoping you'll keep your head about these things and approach them in a constructive manner. As mentioned above, the law is really the least of your concerns at this point. Right now you have to focus on the family and gain thier trust. I'm sure his mother really, in her heart, wants what is best for her son. Staying cool, being patient, and proving that you're looking out for his best interests is a good way start that process. Unfortunately, the best way to do that at this point may be to step back and say "I love you, You're worth waiting for, I won't come between you and your family, and I'll be here when it's time".

Good luck to both of you...

Carrie

And this would surprise you because........ Not trying to be cynical here, I believe we'll see the day when our rights are finally upheld, I just don't see it happening any time soon. Given the current Administrations "ideals" not to mention the referendum the American people gave in the last election on the Gay Marriage bills in the states I think we've still got a looong road ahead of us.

I'm not trying to start an off topic politcal discussion here, I'm just hoping you'll keep your head about these things and approach them in a constructive manner. As mentioned above, the law is really the least of your concerns at this point. Right now you have to focus on the family and gain thier trust. I'm sure his mother really, in her heart, wants what is best for her son. Staying cool, being patient, and proving that you're looking out for his best interests is a good way start that process. Unfortunately, the best way to do that at this point may be to step back and say "I love you, You're worth waiting for, I won't come between you and your family, and I'll be here when it's time".

Good luck to both of you...

Carrie
[/b][/quote]

Fantastic post :)

I wouldnt be suprised if it is different for same sex couples, descrimination is instatutional in every country, every where, and most people have their own predjudices, I had to battle my own inbuilt bigotery for months to stop myself instantly presumeing theings about people.

Infact, its different for same sex couples in England, I believe the age of consent for strait sex in England is 16, but for gay, it is 18. And it was the same untill recently in Scotland, but now it is 16 for everyone.

Could be worse - in Northern Ireland, Anal sex is illegal!

And also, It is important to remember, that although is mother is beign obstructive, she is doing it because she is worried about him, she is worried that he is takeing this decision out of influence from you or others, and is worried for his saftey and good.

Its what parents do, it is her job, and it will take convinceing her that you are not a nefarious to make her let go.... hopefully.

[/b][/quote]
I sent a private message to Nixxie via e-mail. But I wanted to publically support both he and Chris. Nixxie, guys have wanted to date a girl who was 15 and waited until their 16th birthday to have a date. It has been done countless times in the straight world. I guess it is not different in the gay world either.

As I told you in my e-mail, if you two really love each other, you will be able to wait until you can get together. If it is just a passing fantasy, then you will get a new partner some where. Either way, you can win.

You are so right to realize that just because the law won't get you in trouble in October, that Chis is not home free. Unless you are prepared to set up housekeeping for the both of you while he finishes high school. I am not suggesting that. I am saying that if he lives at home, it really does't matter what his age is, he has to follow the rules of the house.

I am just commenting on some of the posts that different people made.

Most of all, I still keep you in my thoughts and support.

Chris,

I don't know you as well. You are 15. You need to go slow. Is this your first romance. Are you bi or gay? What is your interests in girls. How do your parents feel about all of this other then Nixxie is too old. What if he were also 15, would that make it all right? Do you or your parents have religius issues to settle?

You are so young. You need to clear all of this and move slowly. Of course right now it is come to a halt due to your mother.

If you are allowed to proceed, go slow. Feel free to e-mail me if you need someone to talk to. I am a youth director for youth groups and would be glad to listen to you and give any emotional support I can. Not being personal and not expecting you to comment, but are you even thrugh with puberty? How will that effect everything. I don't know. Just thoughts for you to ponder.

Best of luck to you to.

Maybe in a few years, we will all get invitations to your Partner Celebration.

Love you both. You are good young people.

Freddie

And this would surprise you because........ Not trying to be cynical here, I believe we'll see the day when our rights are finally upheld, I just don't see it happening any time soon. Given the current Administrations "ideals" not to mention the referendum the American people gave in the last election on the Gay Marriage bills in the states I think we've still got a looong road ahead of us.

I'm not trying to start an off topic politcal discussion here, I'm just hoping you'll keep your head about these things and approach them in a constructive manner. As mentioned above, the law is really the least of your concerns at this point. Right now you have to focus on the family and gain thier trust. I'm sure his mother really, in her heart, wants what is best for her son. Staying cool, being patient, and proving that you're looking out for his best interests is a good way start that process. Unfortunately, the best way to do that at this point may be to step back and say "I love you, You're worth waiting for, I won't come between you and your family, and I'll be here when it's time".

Good luck to both of you...

Carrie
[/b][/quote]


I"m not surprised at all gorgeous. I'm just really disappointed there this kind of discrimination in this day and age. It's 2005, dammit. But thanks for the vote of good luck :D

I really had something good I wanted to add, but I just got dumped by my partner, so....the best I can manage right now is I hope you guys find a way to be together, be it waiting or agreements with parents.

Sweet Caroline:
I feel the same way, it just plain hurts my soul that we're still facing these issues not only with regards to lifestyle but in regards to faith, social economic status, race, culture, etc, etc, etc........


Carrie

I feel the same way, it just plain hurts my soul that we're still facing these issues not only with regards to lifestyle but in regards to faith, social economic status, race, culture, etc, etc, etc........


Carrie
[/b][/quote]


I know, it's nuts. I can't believe the extreme douches out there. I don't like anyone on the extreme end of either spectrum.

Oddly enough, some countries and states do have different laws for same-sex relationships. Here's a list of them all: http://www.ageofconsent.com/ageofconsent.htm

I can't believe that same-sex relations are totally illegal in some states like Idaho. Actually, I just noticed that Florida is one of those states too. I find it hard to believe that the law is strictly enforced though. I suppose that if someone really wanted to make it hard for the two of you even when he becomes of age, they could by law.

Either way, I think that some others have really sound advice: take the family in consideration first, then the law. I hope it works out for you both. *fingers crossed*