Doomed to be a top?

For the past 6 months my boyfriend whom I am crazy about has been topping me, something I am not used to, being he is the first top I have dated. I have dated a good amount of guys and all were total bottoms. Everytime we make love he of course tops me and I lay on my back/stomach/head wincing in pain. There have been times where we just stop because it gets to be too uncomfortable for me. I hate doing this to him because he loves to cum inside of me. We have been trying various techniques to loosen me up and none have seem to be making this tolerable. My question to LPSG is, Am I just not meant to be a bottom? Is it worth keep on trying the techniques already in place including: Dildos, fingers, gallons of lube, butt plugs, alchol? I really am in love with this man so leaving him is not even a last restort in regards to this issue. I just want him to enjoy being inside of me without me going through pain. Thank you for any and all comments.

cegro27:
Have you ever tried positioning yourself on top of him and lowering your butt onto his cock? That always works for me, that way "you" can control how deeply and how quickly you thrust on his shaft. But I guess the bigger issue is that you just don't like being a bottom. I'm 100% bottom, and I know the couple of times I tried to be a top I hated it. I just couldn't get into it at all and I was largely pretending that I liked it (which became more evident to the guy I was topping because I kept going soft). Being a bottom just "feels" natural to me, I don't have to try or overprepare myself for it, and it's fairly easy for me to get around the pain aspect of it because my arousal of having a large cock inside of me overpowers any minor discomfort. For the serious pain, like I said before, I just climb on top and control the thrusting, and it doesn't take away from the partner's pleasure. But it really won't work for you if you feel you "have" to be a bottom, you've got to "want" to be a bottom.

I'd feel being a versatile guy, that should be both willing... meaning that neither of you feels stuck in one role... I've become a better top, knowing what a bottom goes through, that's why I never understand "top" only. For me the pleasure has always been about pleasing the other person.. so my best advice is for your bf to make love to you and be focused on you, more then what he's feeling.. I think if you're that connected on a passionate, sensual level then everything can feel good to both.. throwing in alchohol and other things I would feel would disconnect each of you. And to agree that you should feel you want to bottom to give him pleasure, but on the flip side, so should he. The power of a sensual touch, or passionate caress can do amazing things to feel connected and have your whole body be relaxed. I'm sure if he's never bottomed, he should try to know what you're going through and he'd react accordingly to your reactions and be better connected to you.

Just my opinion.. my dream is always to fight over who's gonna bottom first and to flip flop all night long.

Here's some advice that not everyone will like -- smoke some pot and get a bottle of poppers -- it totally eliminates that uncomfortable feeling for me.

Also, there are some people who just aren't meant to be a bottom -- my partner, for instance. We tried just once with me being the top and him on bottom, and that was a disaster. So, for the sake of marital bliss and harmony -- I became a raging bottom, with a little chemical assistance.

NtroducingMyself: Actually I am not sure if there is any real way to become a bottom or make bottoming more comfortable. Personally I am more on the vers. side of things, but there are times when bottom just doesn't feel good and I stop my partner and simply say "I don't think its gonna work tonight" and we find other ways to enjoy ourselves. Never be affraid to say something to your lover if something doesn't feel right or just simply hurts;open communication is they key.

And on the flip side there are times bottoming just feels wonderful! It just depends on the mood and how things feel that day. Just remember, be open with your lvoer and let him know. If he loves you he'll udnerstand. :D

Vizzo, you might find this thread helpful.

http://www.lpsg.org/forum/index.php?showtopic=8527&hl=

All the best, hb8