This is a very important point. I wonder if the mother and father of this boy are truly accepting their son's autism because they are repeatedly trying to push him into a situation that is stressful for him. Sure, at some level you need to push your children to do things they don't want to, but if they truly accept who their son is and what his limitations are, they wouldn't repeatedly put him in a situation that is obviously so stressful that he can't control his outbursts. I think a lot of parents with children with various disabilities want so badly to have a normal child and a normal life, they neglect to see what some of the realities of their situation are. It's simply not fair to the child to expect him to do something that he's obviously not capable of doing right now and put him through so much stress.

I notice parents of non-disabled children do the same thing. I don't know how many times I've been in a mall and a child is screaming because they are obviously tired or otherwise can't cope with shopping any longer. Instead of taking into account that their kid is 4 or 5 and can't handle all the walking and noise and boredom of the mall as well as an adult can and get out of there, the parents scream at the child for being "bad." It's the same with a quiet restaurant-- sometimes young children simply can't cope with sitting at a table for an hour. As a parent you have to know your child's limitations and work within them. Sure, you have to teach your children how to behave in those situations, but you have to do it at an age-appropriate level.

It seem like you recognize your daughter's limitations and you've also addressed them so that she isn't as limited in the right way (read: not screaming at her in the mall to shut up). Good for you.