You have the basics of the characters, but now you have to make them rounded and human, for lack of a better word. Imo, one dimension does not make a character interesting... The reason I suggested Himes is because his protagonists are often assholes, but you still want them to win in the end. His use of pacing and plots alone are worthy of a read. :)

If too many authors use naration as a literary device, try something else. Like beginning a chapter with a dream or fantasy. Add an antagonists. Try chaptering! Throwing in a small chapter every once in a while works well. Irony is also very good.

One author I read about wrote bios for all her characters and a plot outline so she knew where the book was heading. I know that's crazy, but still something to consider. :)