lasting longer - a LOT longer

i've just starting fooling around seriously for the first time at 18 years old - i mean i've made out with girls before but this gf of mine and i have rounded third thus far and i have a few issues i'd like feedback on

#1 - when she gives me head i last a good 45-60 seconds - i simply can't last longer - is this a medical issue or something i'm just going to need to de-sensitize myself to in order to last longer (with college around the corner, and undoubtably sex, i don't want to be known as mr 8-9 inch dick but mr 45 seconds) --- to give u another idea i was figering her and just rubbing up against her (erection facing upwards) and i ejaculated just from the brief little bit of friction of our bodies rubbing up against each other. again last night in her car we were making out and she starting rubbing my dick and i had to stop her b/c i knew i was 20 seconds away....

#2 - when fingering her what biologically should i look for to know that she's orgasmed - all i can go by now is her reaction and i think i've got it but it'd be nice to know.

thanks in advance

hunter: at 18 a guy cums fast. As you get older you last longer. For now try jacking off till close to cumming then stop, then do it again, and again, at this age you will have to train yourself to hold back on cumming.

great advice - i'll definately give it a try it sounds logical - anybody else have any suggestions?

Just this one: Have you tried jacking off (to climax) before being with the g/f?
You will have to try and test to find out how much before hand you need to use hand! Do you lose your hard after the first climax or can you got for it again immediately? Try hving a climax an hour before, if that doesn't work, thirty minutes before, etc.

Let us know how it goes, buddy.

Luke :huh:

HungInSC

In response to your number two question: rather than GUESS is she has had an orgasm, why not just ASK her? If she has NOT orgasmed, then while you are fingering her, let her tell you what feels good and will get her to orgasm while you are doing it and then you will learn how to get her off in this manner. She will appreciate your concern for her pleasure.

Jim

thanks a lot for the great responses.

i can imagine how jacking beforehand could help but i'm also thinking in the future... like next year if i hit a bar at 10pm and i end up with a girl back at the dorm at 3am... is there anything i can do thats not so much of a quick fix... i will try taking longer when jacking myself to see if i can train myself to do it... again thanks for the great suggestions

BRMSTN69: well if your in a bar drinking theres always the chance for a "wiskey dick" but you have to be careful too much alochol will impair function. But a couple of drinks might cool your jets a bit. Just dont go overboard no girl wants a slobbering drunk pawing all over her. And dont become dependant on booze as a sexual aid. It might help at first but experiance is the best way to learn control.

yeah defintately i didn't mean to imply that i was just trying to come up with a scenario where it would be 5 hours before i "went out" and ended up back in the room

I am with RoysToy on this one.

It may not be your age only .. but also your high sex drive. I was always a fast comer for that reason and I still am. Make it work for you rather than against you .. more frequent sex, maybe j/o before sex. And learn to keep going after coming; it may well be that you develop the capacity to stay hard after your first ejaculation. Or at least to regain an erection in a very short time.

Then, however fast you come the first time, you won't have any worries about staying the course to satisfy your partner, because the next one will always take a lot longer. Good luck.

Yes, that's really the question. If you have the capacity for many orgasms and very fast recovery times, it really isn't an issue and could be fun. But if not, start masturbating often enough to desensitize yourself and practice control. The ole standard, "think about baseball to hold off ejaculation" definitely doesn't work. Good luck.

Scott

dave_jax_fl: Jerk off and cum a couple hours before you know you're gonna be with her... it'll make a big difference.

dave_jax_fl: I was a little late with that last post, huh? :)

If you do the "jerking off before" thing... the extra time and work the second orgasm requires will also help desensitize you, and may force to you pay a little more attention to what you're actually feeling, rather than just feeling the impending orgasm.

Years ago, I had (and I bet MOST guys at your age have) the same problem, and I would always jerk off when I got home from school or work. That way, date or not, you're ready for the evening :)

Can only say that the advice so far is right on. Give it a try, buddy.

HORSEHUNGshowoff: The BEST thing to do to prolong orgasms is to learn JELQING and KEGEL exercises both are incredible , also you could try CHI self massage , I dont have any links to provide this info but if you go to google and put the topics in search you will find much interesting reading


the REAL deal
HORSE

HunginSC, I'm in a similar situation; so, maybe I can offer some help. At 18, I too have just started seriously doing things with my girlfriend. I love her dearly, and we are slowly discovering physical ways of expressing our love.

Unlike you, however, I have not had many problems with quick climaxes. In fact, the quickest I have ever come from head was just over 10 minutes. Usually, it takes me about 20 minutes to be brought to an orgasm, and that's after a significant amount of fooling around and physical contact.

Orgasms are 90% mental. The way I keep in control is by thought. If you focus on everything your body is feeling--not just the feeling of your penis--and breathe regularly you can control your excitement and, consequently, how long you last. The more you focus on your penis and the harder you breathe, the faster you will come. If you reach an emergency point (which I have before), ask her to slow down or pull her off and contract your pc (the muscle you use to stop peeing); let the nice feeling wash over you and then continue again.

As for fingering her, there are many things you can do. But the easiest way (I've found) to make your girl come, is to find her clit and rub it rhythmically while giving the rest of her body oral attention. You can tell that she's orgasmed when she starts breathing hard and then tenses up and relaxes several times. Plus, it never hurts to ask her how close she is, or if she has come yet. Communication helps you build your relationship and improve your ability to please her.