No, it's not selfish to want to meet him. And it's especially not selfish to want to just be yourself around someone. That's what we're put on the planet for. To find that soulmate--or to find many of them.

You know what? If he cares for you, that's what he wants for you, too. Two people who click, spending time together, enjoying each other's bodies and catching a moment of intimacy. It need be nothing more, and you'd be cheating yourself out of a great experience if it were anything less.

You've had many chances to break your friendship, but you didn't. You actually want to be with this guy. Do it, and enjoy it. And stop thinking about whether it's a "relationship" and just enjoy your time together.

The "gay in denial" line worries me. You don't need to come out to have a fulfilling personal life with another man (or men). But it's a lot easier, and more fulfilling. And coming out always seems harder than it actually turns out to be.